Tuesday, March 12, 2002

maintaining friendships w/girls you still like?

when you try to keep that friendship going, you become, more or less, one of the guys, a part of a collective group, a fucking number with no chance of asserting your individuality. as much as the friendship might mean to you, nine times out of ten it means fuck all to the "friend."

-- which is why it is much more of an advantage to keep girls around who like YOU. because they offer you the one thing girls who don't "like you" can't -- affection

finally, a girl who doesn't like you probably never will. it's astounding how many hours guys waste on girls because of a simple, childish fantasty. i think you'll recoginze the plot.

girl shuns guy as suitor, guy plays the role of the friend, girl proceeds to date a gaggle of idiots until she slowly, but surely, realizes that her "friend", by comparison (or default), is the perfect guy. & then they live happily ever after, right?

(i am one of the many millions of guys who once bought into this myth.)

the truth is: most girls don't date guys because they're nice. they date them because they're desirable -- & there are many different ways to be desirable. a guy could be desirable to other girls because he was nice or a "good friend", but that's normally only half of it.

the only way you can get a girl to like you who doesn't is to make her jealous -- or so i'm told. i've met a few girls who have told me that they never liked their "friends" until these friends fell in love, got girlfriends & stopped hanging out w/them. it's because then they were finally conviced that this guy was desirable when, before, they had only seen him as a simple friend. the only problem is finding some one else.

but, then again, that was the whole idea in the first place.

excerpts from an email that a friend sent me. sounds cynical? well he's a rat.


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