Tuesday, August 26, 2003


why is it that sleep sneaks up on us in the most worstest times. say in class. man i've dozed off in my share of classes. just sit there, no talking. put your pen down for a sec, rub your eyes. and soon it's sideways head, tounge out, snoring, drooling, and EVERYONE watching. so what, that's not so bad, besides some humiliation. now if the teacher sees you that's another story.

Now. at work it's totally different. man, i fight at work my hardest, to stay up and awake and alert and not look like i'm tired as heck. BUT today i fail. as i write this i'm taking the longest blinks one can possibly take before he just has closed eyes. stretching helps, rubbing my eyes makes me wanna just pass out. i'd pay, i'd so pay to just get to my house right now and in my bed within the next 2 minutes. focusing on the screen is becoming more and more difficult. it's cold in here, that's kinda keeping me up, but MAN i can't stay awake. and i have been in this phase more than one time before... i am so familiar with where i am yet how do i cope with it?

who the hell knows. but there is one thing i do know. at 4:30 when i leavee.... i'll have SO much energy to go here and there and do this and that. instead of going home and doing that which i'd love to do more than anythingg else: sleep.

so am i really sleepy at work, or am i just bored out of my mind. could be both.
my new room

Saturday, August 23, 2003

52 card pickup

ever play that game as a kid, 52 card pickup? where you ask someone if they wanna play, and they dunno what it is, and then you throw all the cards in the air, and say "pick them up!"

that's how life feels today.

yea, my cards are all over the floor and i'm picking them up. some people pick the cards up really fast. some people will be discusted and just walk away. others, like me... we'll sit there, asses the situation. wonder why the heck we didn't see that a game called 52 card pickup would be just that. picking up 52 cards, and how that could have been avoided.

am i talking about one thing in general? nope. tons of stuff. everything. i got a ticket yesterday for doing an illegal u turn, then got a parking ticket in the spot i u turned into 3 hrs later. my psudo love life, which hasn't really existed for the past few months is slowly disintegrating without any means for me to hold it together. i'm moving yet again, and have no motivation/desire to pack up this shit i just unpacked in this craphole appt i've rented out for almost my whole paycheck the last three months. what really gets me, and the reason that i feel defeated right now, it's saturday. i look forward to saturdays like a child looks forward to dessert, and i have NO plans. tonight could end up right here, on my computer. in my app. in norwalk. in my sulking, self pity-ing, depressed mood.

now i find that most of the time when i have an issue, i write it down. to someone who cares mostly. this way i see and think about expressing how i feel and what really has got me down. that way i find a counter to my sadness. and i am able to get myslef somewhat of a remedy to the situation. working towards the greater good is something that i've been learning in my "leadership" meetings. and well... my greater good is me being content with me. maybe that will happen someday, i just gotta shake off these games of 52 card pickup.

so i just smoke a cig, and get off my ass. cause what else is there really to do? right?

Monday, August 18, 2003

what people say

at my work, we have these meetings. every tuesday. they call them "leadership meetings". everyone's invited. the president of the company usually attends and conducts them. they teach sayings. the company is run on sayings. instead of laying cut and dry rules, we have sayings. most of the sayings are based on common sense. they teach these sayings, and thus teach the way of the company.

the company is run on sayings.

some say that they sayings apply to everyday life. some say the sayings apply to work only. some think it's crap. some live off the stuff.

me, where am i on the situation? can't answer that, since i've only attended 2 meetings.

but what do i think about running a company on philosophical ideas? who knows... people totally live they're own lives by these values... so it could happen.

so i started to think of what sayings that i like to say. i always bust them on people, and then here i am i forgot what it is i say! so then today i decided to write them down. i'm gonna keep a book or something or document them...

you can't catch a fish, if you're hook's not in the water

that's a favorite of mine. dunno why... dad said it. someone else may have also.

it's night time, bed time.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

the living quarters....

i'm moving yet again. three months after moving into my own appt, here at porto bella, i'm moving out. so many people haven't seen this place that i think should have. so i'm posting it now, for your enjoyment of how 'intresting' my life can be.

this is my living room

this is the other side of the same room (note the ghetto A/C unit on a stool that leaks so there's a bucket that collects the water. =(

hand me down couch. with an end table for a coffee table.

the fridge that is just too big, and the damn dolly it rode in on.

what a beautiful kitchen!

the too small fridge and it's little buddy the microwave

it's almost sad isn't it.

now this IS sad. condiments anyone? note the rooster sauce is there, and on the edge for quick access. that's a bag of peas in the fridge.

out my door.

ladies calm down, but yes ameer does sleep here.

there's turntables there i swear.

el bano, si!

that's my place... it's hot as shit and it's shit. all the water faucet knobs are backwards, ex, hot is cold

this place spits in thermodynamic's face, it actually creates heat, yes from nothing, heat is created. so i got two a/c units, and put them in the two windows i have, the other one has a huge fridge by it.

casa de navidi soon to be no more, i'd rather live with 3 sloppy smelly fat men that pick their butts and eat pizza. costa mesa here i come!

Monday, August 11, 2003

" you can see monday written on everyone's face in here"

a co worker walked in today and said that monday quote to everyone. he hit the nail on the head.

there are SO many more people than i anticipated driving on the freeway at 4:15am monday.

today the lyrics of no doubt's - don't speak, hit home never heard that song like that before.

the movie "the red violin" was a great movie. i loved it. this red violin from 1681... we watched the life of the violin from then till today. intresting. the violin brought pain and suffering to everyone who possesed it. in the process of watching that movie i got a hint of the violin's bad luck. the box shoulda had a disclaimer on it for ameer's,

::caution if you or anyone you know is an ameer, the surgeon general states that viewing this video has been proven to yield bad luck::

self pity is such a sad state tho, so i'll leave that alone for now... only suckers wish they could go back.

played pool... i miss playing pool. i really miss it. even though i got my ass handed to me time and time again, it was a good ass handing. give me a few more decades of practice and i'll be the bad ass handing people's asses to them =) muhahahha (pretty assy)

Wednesday, August 6, 2003

my job and the web

i've been getting quite a bit of hits to my web site from the search words "name of my company here" which apparently is where i work!

i'd like to say first off that i'm not representing the company at all with my website, but i'm guessing that the people searching google or yahoo or excite or msn.com are those poor recent grads who haven't found jobs quite yet.

i've been there, and that place (being unemployed) SUCKS.

so i'm out to help, if anyone does read this and they can't find info about my job's company, (cause we don't have a website, actually they don't have anything really on the internet acout the company) -5/14/2004 my boss asked me to delete the company's name because he didn't like me being the only thing on the net traced back to my company. so i have taken it back.

here's the basics. it's a small company 200-250 employees.

the company is not your regular company, it's unconventional, but in a good way, they use common sense here, i guess, that's a way to put it.

i'm in the quality dept, and they're training me to be a metallurgist.

this is a privately owned company (that means no stock market stuff)

it's in paramount CA, which is 3 miles east of compton... but this place is safe, no worries about that.

any other info you'd want to know email me. my email is in my little profile thing on the right, you have to delete part of it cause i'm anti getting spam (they have programs that search websites you know)

other combinations of words that have taken search engine users to my site are for example "up to ears in boobs" these people may not find exactly what they're looking for on this site. but i welcome you to come and read my site