Thursday, May 27, 2004

what hapens to old girls and young guys?

my first impression of older men is that they have money. clean cut, proper, golf oriented, sucessful, impatient men come to mind. when I think of youn girls the first impression I get is sex. younger girls are sexy. so whay do the guys do before they get old, and what happens to the young girls as they get old?

personally, an opinion I carry is that dating too far away from my current age is not very desireable nor does it have good chance of being a sucessful relationship. this opinion of mine has been formed due to observing others as well as some personal life experiences. there's a definite difference in maturity and stages in life. this makes certain conflicts that are not always comprehendible by both parties at the same time. this is not to say that if I find myself at 50 years old and single I won't have a 24 year old bikini model for a personal sextoy, but I'm focusing on sucessful good ol' fashioned relationships. the ones that make the world go round.

my upbringing has a lot to do with it. my parents are less than a year apart... so why don't older girls like younger men? maybe they do but don't get them? maybe having an attractive sexual partner is higher on a man's priority list and having a wealthy sexual partner is high on a woman's list.

so what happens to those girls you grow up with? in elementary school, they're deemed as "the pretty" ones or "the cute" ones. and you play teatherball or throw the football at them. well, soon you find that you're in middle school and that "cute girl" is dating a highschooler, and then in HS she's got a college boy... and once you start working, and cruise friendster during breaktime you learn that the "the cute" one is married, and 25 years old, and her hubby is 40, and on his second wife. (I guess now I know what happens to those "cute" girls that used to tease me in elementary school...)

its the girls that always cause me to lose focus. the girls sidetrack me. they steal the show and I lose track of what's really going on. the guys. I remember being friends with the guy in hs who dated a middleschooler, and the guy in college who had a hs girlfriend. sure the girls were cute but they were damn annoying, just too immature for me. seeing these guys I noticed that this is what I didn't want to be. these guys had to deal with immature, incompitent, hot girls. it was as if for these guys to get girls they were sexually attracted to, they had to sacrifice something.

guys and girls have levels. school levels are the same for both, but guys go up after school, and girl's level goes down. from 21-22 years old, girls start do lose their demand. and men's level goes up!

guys are like an aged alcohaul, with time it gets more expencive and refined, girls are like exotic flowers, the grow and look beautiful, but then bloom for only a bit, and then start wilting away.

so those girls who are really hot, can dat multiple levels up. the goal of a girl is to date a level above theirs. and a guys goal is to date a girl at his equivalent level. as yes, the conflict has been uncovered. so how does a guy attract a girl of his equivalent level when her eyes are focused on the guys above our perspective gentleman of the same level?

lets pull out an example. our mid twenties working woman. she's not fully on her own, works a steady job, lives at home, or gets her parents to give her a car. but overall, she's got some direction and when she finds a man to help her out she'll be free of her parents help and start to lean financially on her new mr. while this mr. is financially doing well for himself (sports car, his own house, better job, and well sure he's 7 years older but isn't a bad looking gentleman) this guy want's to find a girl of the same age and same financial status. what will he use to impress her? furthermore his competition is with men of 10 years older than he is, bigger houses, management jobs, and much more appealing to the woman who our hero has his eye on. so what is the question? his woman of choiice is the 7 year younger one, the one he can impress, support, and feel good about 'winning over'.

what does it all mean for me? I'm fucked. I'm sitting here with the desire of a guy who's 35 years old, but I'm sitting at a level of a 15 year old guy... unless I wait till our mid twenties woman starts to drop in levels and I start to go up, just hope those greedy mid 30's guys leave a few for me have a chance at.

(this was composed on my phone, so please look past the spelling/grammar errors)

Sunday, May 23, 2004

games with girls

i've found a trend. (let's backtrack) i don't feel i've had one sucessfull relationship yet. i can say i've been in relationships. but not a real one. where all the elements were there at the same time. either i wanted to be free, she wanted to be free (more of the time she wants to be free, free of what? why me of course!) or she's too far away so i can't see her like normal couples see eachother. there's always a factor in each of my significant relationships of my pathetic 25 years on this rock that causes for it to be an unconventional relationship.

but the underlying theme? they get bored of me. no i'm not here to pity myself, it's what i've discovered. and i don't want to say that it's a bad thing, but will be a bad thing if this pattern isn't broken sometime in the future, let's say before the next 15 years passes. but there's reasons for this behavior of my significant others, reasons as well as circumstances.

(1)i'm too flexible. i need to not reschedule all my events around hers. i need to make her feel like she's NOT no.1 priority. i need to tell her "all i can do is tuesday, the rest of the days i'm really busy" instead of "whatever day is easiest for you, i can make time and re-schedule around your schedule" or sometimes it totally comes out wrong and i just say "oh i can hang out anytime, whenever" -when i say this i usually mean that i can be flexible, but is eaisly mistaken for "eh whenevers" which doesn't give a definite idea to anyone who's being put in who's place.

(2)Furthermore i need to make out with other girls that will for sure kiss and tell thus getting word back to my girlfriend that i have cheated, or not return their calls with the excuse that i was watching tv or that i forgot... just something to start a fight, something to make them cry. people bond when they go thru tough times. so if i create some friction, not too much, but some, just enough to jerk some tears and kick some vending machines, i'll get em to like me that much more! it's weird. sorta reminds me of how a co worker of mine added a 15 passenger van to his car insurance policy and the rates ended up being lower with his 350z and the 15 passenger van than just the 350z by itself.

sometimes working backwards is really working forwards. i've always thought that if we weren't fighting they things were going well. that's true for friends, but for significant others, no siree! i'm ditching the pamper her and treat her like a queen mentality. it's time to treat women like they want to be treated: dirt. cause if i don't treat them like dirt, they'll treat me like dirt. whoever said "god made dirt and dirt don't hurt" was wrong. it hurts being dirt.

you gotta have drama. you need to fight. emotions need to be churned and twisted and people need to get hurt. it's what the world revolves around! how else will we relate to the love songs that plauge our ears thru mtv and kiis fm?

i've always tried to be a good boy. listen to momma, do my homework, eat my veggies. sure i'm immature and irresponsible at times, i'm never punctual and i'm horrible with budgeting/saving money. but overall i see myself as a prize boyfriend. i'm all the things that the girls on tv say they wish they had instead of the jerkoff that they're with...

but that's just it! i completely missed the point! all the while, the girls are actually banging these jerks that treat them like shit, and simply complaining to their friends, saying stupid wishes about the mommasboy-geekazoid that i've become...


i need to start stirring it up. if i really like a girl from now on i may just slap her. now that's a way to sweep a girl off her feet. or just get her off her feet.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

no backspace

i broke my keyboard at work. i spilled some green tea on it and it's lost the "b" "z" and "x" keys. it was an ergonomic. microsoft brand. makes me sad. i guess what i'll have to do is buy a new keyboard and bring in myone from home. so wyh does it say no backspace at the top of this blog? well that's diff. cause i am not using the backspace key for this post. i've written 3 posts in the last 2 days and they just don't deserve to be published. so no wi'm writing with no backspace button. i'm going commando. it's been done before and pulled off. so why not stick to the formula!~?

actually, today i'm nervous. i've not been this type of nervous for quite some time. i'm fickle with my weekend plans, very fickle. if my weekend plans haven't been established 5days before the weekend actually hits, it's panic time! that's how today is. i'm all riled up. no concrete plans. sure i've got the weekend of june 5, june 12, june 19, june 26th all planned, june is good. even aug has some tenative and soon to be permanent plans.

man this was a piss poor idea. who ever told me to not use a backspace keey has failed .me i've lost my blogging reopur and i can't spell worht beans either. since it's friday i don'tcare, i'm wearing my shirt untucked, and i'm ready to make some plans. adios muchachos!

Thursday, May 13, 2004

shopping for appreciation

i love to shop. some people don't realize this cause i wear the same clothes day in and day out. i actually have tried to wear the same outfit each day of the week (mondays the blue shirt, tuesdays the red one... that died before it got started!) BUT, buying clothes isn't what i call shopping. find yourself in a store, suddenly that's all that you have to compare, the store's selection. for example you can't look up all manufacturers of green button up shirts with a pocket on the left breast and ivory buttons. to compare quality, design, features, then price and make a decision on which one you want to purchase. you just browse and see what's there. you like it you buy it, if not, then no.

i like shopping. digging. researching and making excel spreadsheets with comparisons of different products, their features, upsides and downsides, what would fit my needs. people hear shopping, they think of clothes. but i spend a few hrs shopping for clothes, heck sometimes just a few mins. i want some socks, i just up and get some socks! simple as that... but when i shop, i spend weeks. sometimes months.

i didn't realize how much i like to shop till i noticed someone else shopping. des was looking for a new bike. she had never owned one before and was so excited to finally get one. a pink beach cruiser. it's been weeks, she knows all the brands, the different styles. she's learned the sizes, features like hand brakes, fenders, aluminum vs steel, foam handlebars vs rubber grips, etc... and once she finds what she wants at the price she wants her purchase will be done and satisfaction will be maximum.

i did the same thing with my phone. it took me about 2-3 weeks. and i was on the websites every day. looking for a new phone, new plan, rebates, deals, user opinions, anything. i just didn't want to get something on a whim and then be all upset that i spent my money on some piece of crap.

now i'm happy. i got the phone i want:

man i love shopping!

Monday, May 10, 2004

what time do you have??

I was at a mall this weekend... A very foreign place to me, but I had my friend around and he had plans to go to the mac store (where guys think computers, and girls think makeup) I'm using this term 'mac' with the guys idea in mind. so as i marvel at the $3,000.00 machines lining the walls, computing 0's and 1's faster than imaginable by the human mind i find myself lost in a sea of electronics. mp3 players, laptops, keyboards, flatscreen monitors, colors, cases, batteries. i'm in ameer's playground!

after about an hour of looking around james decide to leave. upon leaving, something catches my eye... a watch is sitting next to a laptop. quickly it occurs to me that someone took their watch off in order to not scratch the 15" powerbook laptop that is sitting beside the watch... i smoothly walk over and check out the watch, look around and pick it up, upon looking at it i realize it's a nixon watch. the black face one. $225.00 worth of time telling genious suddenly falls into my lap and asks to be mine.

now i look at james, and james looks at me. what do i do? time quickly freezes, i've just been rear ended on a monday morning, someone kicked my side fender leaving an ugly dent at $1000.00 in damage, so this is my up! but then; i just got a new phone and i'm loving life with the ipod. so many things race thru my head and it feels as tho my heard is responsible for the speed of the thoughts due to the rate at which it is pumping.

i'm stern. i don't let the devil on my shoulder persuade me, i walk up to the counter and hand the watch to a younger looking gentleman with an all black shirt and a small white apple in the middle of it. "i found this watch sitting by the laptops" and i hand it over, he thanks me and puts it in the drawer.

we leave.

later on while in a book store (this totally sounds like a lie, first of all i'm at the mall, second of all i'm at a book store, but i swear it's true, i swear!) i start talking to james about some songs i heard on the net. some funny songs. he mentions that we could go to the mac store and listen to them! so we do!

2 hrs after our first visit to the mac store james and i return to the colorful yet simple store that screams power with ease of use, we park ourselves next to a computer and start up the downloads.

half way thru i mention that i should ask for my watch. just go up and say "hi i left my watch here" and hope the real owner hadn't come back for it yet. then i decide to stay stern, i initially made the right decision in not taking the watch, and decide to just remain in favor of some good karma.

when suddenly i hear "hey this is a nice watch!" and i see a different person at the counter... trying on the watch. it fits him nice and he's modeling it like a 5 year old girl who was allowed to raid her mother's fuzzy boa collection. it's sickening. he keeps touching it and looking at it as tho he's preparing to buy it. james and i share a look at eachother and this time instead of the adrenalyn pumping excited feeling of finding a new watch, it's the "holy crapola, that chump ass apple employee is fishing my watch out of the lost and found. james and i are the only witnesses. i could have called him on it but i thought by now i've got so much credit from karma that pulling a fast one now will definately put me in the whole for a year. we walk out and i decide to forget it, but that's too tough. i realize that this was a blogworthy story for my monday. i guess that's the fruits of my good karma...

Wednesday, May 5, 2004

am I being tested?

I left for lunch... Got some money at the atm and off to jack in the box. As I order I hear an excuse me from an older person. He's filthy.he says "I'm sorry to be bothering you. There's a little black dog over there. She's hungry and she's all I got" he continues this story of how little he has. I was more scared than anything... I just interrupted him, ordered my 2 $.99 chicken sanwiches, and drove thru. His charachter lingered in my mind while I pulled out 2 fresh $20.00 bills and set my new (this is how I'm posting my blog right now) internet surfing phone. Then glance at my ipod, realize the car I'm in and I feel guilt. Would my loved ones be happy with how I handled him??

I started to look for him in the parking lot. I became curious of his story... Who was he? What made him so poor? How did he only have $16.00 and what crazy things has he seen? I contemplated buying him food... Sitting down for 30mins and just listen to him talk. Woulda been cool, but as cool as me, in my car, under a tree, writing this blog and posting it? I dunno...