Sunday, May 23, 2004

games with girls

i've found a trend. (let's backtrack) i don't feel i've had one sucessfull relationship yet. i can say i've been in relationships. but not a real one. where all the elements were there at the same time. either i wanted to be free, she wanted to be free (more of the time she wants to be free, free of what? why me of course!) or she's too far away so i can't see her like normal couples see eachother. there's always a factor in each of my significant relationships of my pathetic 25 years on this rock that causes for it to be an unconventional relationship.

but the underlying theme? they get bored of me. no i'm not here to pity myself, it's what i've discovered. and i don't want to say that it's a bad thing, but will be a bad thing if this pattern isn't broken sometime in the future, let's say before the next 15 years passes. but there's reasons for this behavior of my significant others, reasons as well as circumstances.

(1)i'm too flexible. i need to not reschedule all my events around hers. i need to make her feel like she's NOT no.1 priority. i need to tell her "all i can do is tuesday, the rest of the days i'm really busy" instead of "whatever day is easiest for you, i can make time and re-schedule around your schedule" or sometimes it totally comes out wrong and i just say "oh i can hang out anytime, whenever" -when i say this i usually mean that i can be flexible, but is eaisly mistaken for "eh whenevers" which doesn't give a definite idea to anyone who's being put in who's place.

(2)Furthermore i need to make out with other girls that will for sure kiss and tell thus getting word back to my girlfriend that i have cheated, or not return their calls with the excuse that i was watching tv or that i forgot... just something to start a fight, something to make them cry. people bond when they go thru tough times. so if i create some friction, not too much, but some, just enough to jerk some tears and kick some vending machines, i'll get em to like me that much more! it's weird. sorta reminds me of how a co worker of mine added a 15 passenger van to his car insurance policy and the rates ended up being lower with his 350z and the 15 passenger van than just the 350z by itself.

sometimes working backwards is really working forwards. i've always thought that if we weren't fighting they things were going well. that's true for friends, but for significant others, no siree! i'm ditching the pamper her and treat her like a queen mentality. it's time to treat women like they want to be treated: dirt. cause if i don't treat them like dirt, they'll treat me like dirt. whoever said "god made dirt and dirt don't hurt" was wrong. it hurts being dirt.

you gotta have drama. you need to fight. emotions need to be churned and twisted and people need to get hurt. it's what the world revolves around! how else will we relate to the love songs that plauge our ears thru mtv and kiis fm?

i've always tried to be a good boy. listen to momma, do my homework, eat my veggies. sure i'm immature and irresponsible at times, i'm never punctual and i'm horrible with budgeting/saving money. but overall i see myself as a prize boyfriend. i'm all the things that the girls on tv say they wish they had instead of the jerkoff that they're with...

but that's just it! i completely missed the point! all the while, the girls are actually banging these jerks that treat them like shit, and simply complaining to their friends, saying stupid wishes about the mommasboy-geekazoid that i've become...


i need to start stirring it up. if i really like a girl from now on i may just slap her. now that's a way to sweep a girl off her feet. or just get her off her feet.


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