Friday, November 19, 2004

in woken dreams

i met san francisco back when i was in college. a few buddies of mine and i drove up in a white corolla and we spent the weekend in san francisco. the year was 2000. i didn’t tell my mom or dad that i would be going to see san francisco that weekend, i just up and went… a typical college impulse decision. little did i know what was in store for me due to that weekend.

the actual weekend didn’t have a significant event or epiphany that i’m able to reference, but something stuck… i knew this wasn’t the end of san francisco and me. oh no, there was more to this story for certain, but i had no idea, and neither did anyone else at the time.

fast forward (or chapter select ahead 4 years if you’re using the dvd version of this blog) and here i am… 50 miles south of my new found object of affection [san francisco]. i now live 350 miles closer than our first encounter in 2000. the year: 2004, and that impression that she left on me back in 2000 that i couldn’t forget, has since blossomed into a crush. full blown puppy love is what we’re talking about here, and it’s the kind that hurts when you see each other because you know that you can’t be together. yet.

it’s rough to be so close, and so far at the same time… i go see her weekly and there’s a tingle in my spine from the bottom up to the back of my neck that gives me goose bumps and forces my hands to shake when i drive up the freeway and see the noble lights of the financial district buildings next to the lights of the bay bridge. that view at nighttime is 100% gorgeous, er… maybe it’s only 99%

why 99%? a crush of this magnitude should be 100% or the unattainable 110% that football coaches demand. simple explanation: i’m not a part of that 7 mile x 7 mile area that we refer to as san francisco. i gaze upon her from the highway 101 bridge and have no place to point at and say “that’s where i live”.

her and i see each other once a week at minimum, but i live in san jose… the antagonist of this story i call “my life”, yes the evil san jose. feard by all, known by middle class computer creating geeks, and current residence of our hero for the moment, san jose is the orange county equivalence of northern california. the lovely san francisco sees us together and turns her head, she knows not the depth of feelings that i’ve developed for her.

i will prove my love to her, and we will be together one day. it started as a weekend fling, evolved into a crush, and now… yes boys and girls, it’s true love. i fell in love. and if i learned on thing from numerous viewings of the princess bride, i’m certain that nothing can defy true love! my love and i will soon be united, although first things first i gotta work on getting a job!

Thursday, November 4, 2004

my phase

i’m sure this isn’t something new to the world but it’s new to us. this new phase i’m talking about, is it really new, or maybe it’s just come round again, cyclic they say? what phase am i talking about? why this phase, the one i’m sitting in and soaking up like a new sponge. allow me to define the phase of topic: out of school, in the work force, and free! free to do as i please!!! (within reason of course)

i feel that the generation before me was not given this opportunity. i feel that most of them got jobs, got kids, and got grown up right after school. i don’t know if there was an “out of college, making some money and enjoying it on stupid things like bars and cars” phase for people a few decades ago. back then (in the old days) they were fighting off sharks and pirates in order to make it to the land of opportunity, the land where they’d have children in order to give them a better life. to the generation before me, i have that better life, and i’m lovin’ it. thanks!

how else was i able to drop my entire life in search for a new one simply because i wanted a change of scenery and had a dream to live in a certain city?? if i had a girlfriend/kids/house/established career it would have been much more difficult if not impossible to do what i did. no way no how no sir no ma’am, that’s a negative captain. i’m in the phase!

this phase was no piece of pie to achieve. it started with my parents, if they hadn’t done well for themselves i’d be sticking around to make sure that they had a roof over their heads and food on the table for themselves, but they’re on top of things and can sustain on their own. they also prepped me to do the same for myself, that’s right, momma taught baby how to be independent! pushing me to go to school and do well at something i was horrible at [studying] and hated just as much, was also part of the process. college and a few grand of debt, viola! here you have it… a well equipped, no responsibility, young gentleman able to do whatever wherever however, only condition is that i’ve got nothing else coming from those two who’ve started me out…. m & d. and why should they fork over anything else? they’ve set up the pins, moved the line closer, showed me where to throw the ball, and are now cheering my name with pomp pomes from the sidelines… all i gotta do is knock em down!