Sunday, June 9, 2002
sex and money
people who have money, spend it.
people who don't have money dream about it.
these basic principles are the foundation mentality of the human being.
think of sex appeal, or good looks, or the ability to attract the opposite (or same if your preference be) sex as money. people who have it, spend it. people who don't dream about getting some someday. the point being: i see many girls who just can't not have a boyfriend... they've honestly got a "take a number" booth going and well we wonder why?
simplify: they've got a lot of sex appeal and damnit they're spending it cause they got it.
now then, another question is about love, where does that fit in? love is like happyness. many people who are rich wouldn't say that they're happy. just as many people who are desireable aren't in love.
the parallel is a bit abstract and the way i convey it is translucent, and my spelling is shit. but after wondering how someone could just go from lover to lover boggled my mind. if i were to do the same i'd be an emotional wreck! but these people have been rich in sex appeal they're whole life, and want it or not they've had the "take a number" line forming whether the like it or not. so they've grown up this way learned this style of life and will lead it this way.
watching how rediculous people with money spend their money is the same as watching attractive people break hearts and work their way into everyone's bed. they're looking for something better than the next, as people with money look for the same. problem is that there's always gonna be something that you can buy that'll be more expencive and better quality, but as far as finding people.. that's where the flaw is and that's the catch.
when you buy something that object is 100% yours and you decide it's fate. when you have a partner, they decide their fate, they're not yours even if they tell you that they are, they may change their mind. there's more variables in this scenario and that's why it's hidden... there's too many variables that people believe it to be random, when in fact it's not.
but what am i talking about... girls who look good will always have guys that want them. most girls will take the guys and when one gets boring, they'll change to the next. guys the same. but i think that anyone who spends their money on the same thing bores me. it's just too bad that there's not enough people (who live in my small irvine bubble) that have money *sex appeal* yet chose to hold on to it instead of spending it on every one that takes a number.
people who have money, spend it.
people who don't have money dream about it.
these basic principles are the foundation mentality of the human being.
think of sex appeal, or good looks, or the ability to attract the opposite (or same if your preference be) sex as money. people who have it, spend it. people who don't dream about getting some someday. the point being: i see many girls who just can't not have a boyfriend... they've honestly got a "take a number" booth going and well we wonder why?
simplify: they've got a lot of sex appeal and damnit they're spending it cause they got it.
now then, another question is about love, where does that fit in? love is like happyness. many people who are rich wouldn't say that they're happy. just as many people who are desireable aren't in love.
the parallel is a bit abstract and the way i convey it is translucent, and my spelling is shit. but after wondering how someone could just go from lover to lover boggled my mind. if i were to do the same i'd be an emotional wreck! but these people have been rich in sex appeal they're whole life, and want it or not they've had the "take a number" line forming whether the like it or not. so they've grown up this way learned this style of life and will lead it this way.
watching how rediculous people with money spend their money is the same as watching attractive people break hearts and work their way into everyone's bed. they're looking for something better than the next, as people with money look for the same. problem is that there's always gonna be something that you can buy that'll be more expencive and better quality, but as far as finding people.. that's where the flaw is and that's the catch.
when you buy something that object is 100% yours and you decide it's fate. when you have a partner, they decide their fate, they're not yours even if they tell you that they are, they may change their mind. there's more variables in this scenario and that's why it's hidden... there's too many variables that people believe it to be random, when in fact it's not.
but what am i talking about... girls who look good will always have guys that want them. most girls will take the guys and when one gets boring, they'll change to the next. guys the same. but i think that anyone who spends their money on the same thing bores me. it's just too bad that there's not enough people (who live in my small irvine bubble) that have money *sex appeal* yet chose to hold on to it instead of spending it on every one that takes a number.
Tuesday, June 4, 2002
blog community
is it me or has my complete blog community slowly died down to the almost nothing state?
it's a poor shame, poor poor shame.
not only am i at a loss for words in this blank screen, but my inspirations are all reruns, blogs i've read before and topics discussed before.
they say it gets bad before it gets better, i'm planning on a really good comeback!
is it me or has my complete blog community slowly died down to the almost nothing state?
it's a poor shame, poor poor shame.
not only am i at a loss for words in this blank screen, but my inspirations are all reruns, blogs i've read before and topics discussed before.
they say it gets bad before it gets better, i'm planning on a really good comeback!
Monday, June 3, 2002
i never want to speak to you again
i can't get over it,
i'm a fuckin clown. i can't take anything seriously.
i always gotta make a joke, be the clown.
there's a time to be serious and a time to play.
i have problems knowing this, i feel like i play all day
even when i shouldn't.
so what do you say/do when a friend needs comforting. when i need comforting i usually just talk to someone and while they're speaking i zone out and don't even listen to them. so should i just ramble on and assume that they're not listening to me? not everyone thinks like me. actually i think most people think opposite of me.
it's hard for me to view problems of others if i don't have those problems.
my friend told me that as long as i support and show that i'm here for problem times then that should be good. and well i think that's all that can be done. but i don't feel satisfied with that...
hmm.. thinking waaaaaaay back to when i had a girl, and girl problems geez, it's hard to remember those repressed harsh feelings, but the only good times i remember having is when i wasn't by myself thinking of all the reasons why i wasn't out with friends or wasn't out being independant and why i was moping and being lazy...
girls.. problems.. take the good with the bad.
it's like playing tennis by yourself all the time then switching to doubles... at first it sucks, but you learn to work as a team and winning is more fun cause you can share it with someone!
*plus it seems like even if you are playing solo, you're against a doubles pair!
i can't get over it,
i'm a fuckin clown. i can't take anything seriously.
i always gotta make a joke, be the clown.
there's a time to be serious and a time to play.
i have problems knowing this, i feel like i play all day
even when i shouldn't.
so what do you say/do when a friend needs comforting. when i need comforting i usually just talk to someone and while they're speaking i zone out and don't even listen to them. so should i just ramble on and assume that they're not listening to me? not everyone thinks like me. actually i think most people think opposite of me.
it's hard for me to view problems of others if i don't have those problems.
my friend told me that as long as i support and show that i'm here for problem times then that should be good. and well i think that's all that can be done. but i don't feel satisfied with that...
hmm.. thinking waaaaaaay back to when i had a girl, and girl problems geez, it's hard to remember those repressed harsh feelings, but the only good times i remember having is when i wasn't by myself thinking of all the reasons why i wasn't out with friends or wasn't out being independant and why i was moping and being lazy...
girls.. problems.. take the good with the bad.
it's like playing tennis by yourself all the time then switching to doubles... at first it sucks, but you learn to work as a team and winning is more fun cause you can share it with someone!
*plus it seems like even if you are playing solo, you're against a doubles pair!
Monday, May 27, 2002
the internet
the information superhighway, the web, the net, the place where i waste more time than most school kids do watching tv.
honestly, i'm an internet supernerd.
i'm happy if i have internet. and the scary thing is that i'm not alone.
what's so nice about it?
me sittin by myself looking at this damn monitor pushing these keys is not the boy's dream of spending a monday off form school is it?
take a look at my room, it's filty. my kitchen, even worse.
do i have anything to wear? course not, it's all dirty!
yet i sit here with this generations idea that not caring is cool, and procrastinating is fun.
i've overheard millions of "i'm lazier than you" conversations, and people take pride in that shit.
i've done so. it's like a competition.
let's compete to see who can do the least yet gain the most, seems like this generation's attitude
but there's so much you can do with the internet, currently i'm updating a blog, writing an assighment, looking for used cars, downloading austin powers, listening to michael jackson, and chatting with the captian... that's quite a lot, yet it's not much as far as 'getting shit done' is concerned...
3:32, in pj's haven't eaten yet, 2 games of starcraft played, 1.5 pages written, this blog.. that's all i have to show for,
i'm outta here, beat it!
the information superhighway, the web, the net, the place where i waste more time than most school kids do watching tv.
honestly, i'm an internet supernerd.
i'm happy if i have internet. and the scary thing is that i'm not alone.
what's so nice about it?
me sittin by myself looking at this damn monitor pushing these keys is not the boy's dream of spending a monday off form school is it?
take a look at my room, it's filty. my kitchen, even worse.
do i have anything to wear? course not, it's all dirty!
yet i sit here with this generations idea that not caring is cool, and procrastinating is fun.
i've overheard millions of "i'm lazier than you" conversations, and people take pride in that shit.
i've done so. it's like a competition.
let's compete to see who can do the least yet gain the most, seems like this generation's attitude
but there's so much you can do with the internet, currently i'm updating a blog, writing an assighment, looking for used cars, downloading austin powers, listening to michael jackson, and chatting with the captian... that's quite a lot, yet it's not much as far as 'getting shit done' is concerned...
3:32, in pj's haven't eaten yet, 2 games of starcraft played, 1.5 pages written, this blog.. that's all i have to show for,
i'm outta here, beat it!
Friday, May 24, 2002
the wind
walking to this computer lab i was full of ideas of what to write here and what to say... all that stuff.
it's gone.
totally had an idea of what i was going to write, and it's completely slipped me, have no clue why, but it's just that way.
maybe i'll just check my email instead.
or write a nice story of which something intresting happend to me?
hmm.. story...
you'd prolly want a story about a girl.
or about something extreme
even a story that's sad, or that's miserable.
a philosophical question maybe?
on why people do certian things, or why don't certian people do things...
here we go, i got a brain tease for ya...
ever wonder how couples got together when you're strollin by? i mean you see two people holding hands or smoochin somewhere and you're like wonder how they met, got to know each other, and finally ended up together?
well...i have if no body else has.
cause i mean, at one point they didn't know eachother, and they had to have met at one point. did one of them know of the other before the formal introduction? who initiated the "i have feelings for you" notion?
see i ponder this cause i currently am crushing on a certian girl. she's totally worth the crush and she's one of my friends. so how do i do things from now out. unless someone told her something that i told someone else then she doesn't have any idea that i'm intrested in her. and our friendship is healthy. we're not best friends, nor great friends... a few steps above aquaintance is where i place our relationship, and well it very slowly but surely climbs up but not at a fast rapid pace or anything...
but i've had friends that i was intrested in and when i started to express how i felt, it drove them away! so by saying how i felt, i actually lost a friend. (for a while, she is now back as a friend) but ya see... i don't want to scare anyone off. so i don't say anything to anyone really... i try to not say anything to myself. i tell my self about the advances that i'm making in life, the goals that i'm accomplishing, and the things that i'm getting done... that's why not getting that car affected me a bit more that one would think. i mean i've been car crazy ever since i was 15!
i dreamed that for my 16th bday i'd get a car, any car!!!
now that i'm 23, and still driving the same car, there's not much advancement there, i feel like i've failed, and then asshold here goes back on his agreement and i'm a failure.
ok well that's enough, i need to nap here in the lab b4 class i'm dosing off...
walking to this computer lab i was full of ideas of what to write here and what to say... all that stuff.
it's gone.
totally had an idea of what i was going to write, and it's completely slipped me, have no clue why, but it's just that way.
maybe i'll just check my email instead.
or write a nice story of which something intresting happend to me?
hmm.. story...
you'd prolly want a story about a girl.
or about something extreme
even a story that's sad, or that's miserable.
a philosophical question maybe?
on why people do certian things, or why don't certian people do things...
here we go, i got a brain tease for ya...
ever wonder how couples got together when you're strollin by? i mean you see two people holding hands or smoochin somewhere and you're like wonder how they met, got to know each other, and finally ended up together?
well...i have if no body else has.
cause i mean, at one point they didn't know eachother, and they had to have met at one point. did one of them know of the other before the formal introduction? who initiated the "i have feelings for you" notion?
see i ponder this cause i currently am crushing on a certian girl. she's totally worth the crush and she's one of my friends. so how do i do things from now out. unless someone told her something that i told someone else then she doesn't have any idea that i'm intrested in her. and our friendship is healthy. we're not best friends, nor great friends... a few steps above aquaintance is where i place our relationship, and well it very slowly but surely climbs up but not at a fast rapid pace or anything...
but i've had friends that i was intrested in and when i started to express how i felt, it drove them away! so by saying how i felt, i actually lost a friend. (for a while, she is now back as a friend) but ya see... i don't want to scare anyone off. so i don't say anything to anyone really... i try to not say anything to myself. i tell my self about the advances that i'm making in life, the goals that i'm accomplishing, and the things that i'm getting done... that's why not getting that car affected me a bit more that one would think. i mean i've been car crazy ever since i was 15!
i dreamed that for my 16th bday i'd get a car, any car!!!
now that i'm 23, and still driving the same car, there's not much advancement there, i feel like i've failed, and then asshold here goes back on his agreement and i'm a failure.
ok well that's enough, i need to nap here in the lab b4 class i'm dosing off...
Thursday, May 23, 2002
i've lost it
had a long day yesterday,
missed my class today.
don't feel bad, haven't done anything yet either. i've lost it.
i had this drive this quarter, things were on such a high about 4 days ago
feels like i had the world workin in my favor... how wrong was i?
things since then have plummeted...
i don't understand why?
that god damn car thing really made me feel like an ass
i mean the guy and i had an agreement, then he went with another bidder. after we said ok
i was supposed to get it today.
shouldn't have told anyone about it,
shouldn't have gotten excited about it,
fuck, i should just do what i've been doing for god damn who knows how long, and just wait some more...
the top 5 bondfire was fun, but the drama behind such an innocent activity just demoralized me even more. makes me want to make everything more generic and more bland just cause it's way eaiser on me. makes me wonder why am i even putting in so much effort? i should just ride along and enjoy...
i guess what would make everything better is if i had someone who could hug me and say "it'll be alrite honey" well i have a lot of people who would do that for me, it's just that they'd be mocking me
well, in that case i'll just have to focus on getting my lab done by tomorrow, and that damn meeting i have to go to, what a piece
had a long day yesterday,
missed my class today.
don't feel bad, haven't done anything yet either. i've lost it.
i had this drive this quarter, things were on such a high about 4 days ago
feels like i had the world workin in my favor... how wrong was i?
things since then have plummeted...
i don't understand why?
that god damn car thing really made me feel like an ass
i mean the guy and i had an agreement, then he went with another bidder. after we said ok
i was supposed to get it today.
shouldn't have told anyone about it,
shouldn't have gotten excited about it,
fuck, i should just do what i've been doing for god damn who knows how long, and just wait some more...
the top 5 bondfire was fun, but the drama behind such an innocent activity just demoralized me even more. makes me want to make everything more generic and more bland just cause it's way eaiser on me. makes me wonder why am i even putting in so much effort? i should just ride along and enjoy...
i guess what would make everything better is if i had someone who could hug me and say "it'll be alrite honey" well i have a lot of people who would do that for me, it's just that they'd be mocking me
well, in that case i'll just have to focus on getting my lab done by tomorrow, and that damn meeting i have to go to, what a piece
Monday, May 20, 2002
talkin shit
some people just talk shit...
and some people talk shit to actually cause damage to who they are talking shit about.
fuck those people.
i mean i talk a lot of shit, but it's either in good fun, or mockery of my friends.
seldom do i talk agressive shit about someone. and that's because you have to genuinely hate someone to do so.
what do people hate so much about other people.
you know what i hate, people who talk agressive shit, but are very non confrontational, they just aviod you or they deny the shit that they've blatantly said to other people who you are closer to and have told you that someone's shit talking.
why?
what benefit does hate bring?
some people just talk shit...
and some people talk shit to actually cause damage to who they are talking shit about.
fuck those people.
i mean i talk a lot of shit, but it's either in good fun, or mockery of my friends.
seldom do i talk agressive shit about someone. and that's because you have to genuinely hate someone to do so.
what do people hate so much about other people.
you know what i hate, people who talk agressive shit, but are very non confrontational, they just aviod you or they deny the shit that they've blatantly said to other people who you are closer to and have told you that someone's shit talking.
why?
what benefit does hate bring?
Friday, May 17, 2002
Wednesday, May 15, 2002
something intresting
so i should have something intresting here shouldn't i?
since the title is something intresting....
usually i talk about girls..
or questions i have about girls...
or computers, or girls...
i guess i write a lot about girls don't i? but i mean that's what i think about i guess.. well when i see the screen, and there's a blank canvas, it's inviting for me to express my relations with other people, mostly about girls tho, cause i don't have anyone to talk to about that, so i write it here
you know that person, the 'last call' person...
most people have that last call person, or that anytime call person. i don't really.
that's how you know you're lonely
if you don't have that person.
like most people i know, they'll call someone rite before they go to sleep to say what happened in their day and good nite and all that stuffs... but then there's the other person that you can call anytime and just chat about what's new and stuffs...
i got none of those really, i guess the captian is one person that i call just to shoot shit with, but overall, nobody for that 'last call'
it's 12:58am on tues nite or actually wed morn, and i just wish rite now that i had a last call person that i could call and just talk about nothing with, it's so much nicer than going to bed after a few beers, jay leno, and a cig...
batchelor life, guess i should enjoy it cause i won't some day? rite, keep on telling myself that.
*this post has a very heavy undertone that i'm lonely and need a girl bad, that is false. i just want a sudo-cute girl to call and say goodnite to before i sleep cause i think that'd put me in a good mood before i hit the hay and i'd get good rest.
or i'm lying to myself
who knows?
so i should have something intresting here shouldn't i?
since the title is something intresting....
usually i talk about girls..
or questions i have about girls...
or computers, or girls...
i guess i write a lot about girls don't i? but i mean that's what i think about i guess.. well when i see the screen, and there's a blank canvas, it's inviting for me to express my relations with other people, mostly about girls tho, cause i don't have anyone to talk to about that, so i write it here
you know that person, the 'last call' person...
most people have that last call person, or that anytime call person. i don't really.
that's how you know you're lonely
if you don't have that person.
like most people i know, they'll call someone rite before they go to sleep to say what happened in their day and good nite and all that stuffs... but then there's the other person that you can call anytime and just chat about what's new and stuffs...
i got none of those really, i guess the captian is one person that i call just to shoot shit with, but overall, nobody for that 'last call'
it's 12:58am on tues nite or actually wed morn, and i just wish rite now that i had a last call person that i could call and just talk about nothing with, it's so much nicer than going to bed after a few beers, jay leno, and a cig...
batchelor life, guess i should enjoy it cause i won't some day? rite, keep on telling myself that.
*this post has a very heavy undertone that i'm lonely and need a girl bad, that is false. i just want a sudo-cute girl to call and say goodnite to before i sleep cause i think that'd put me in a good mood before i hit the hay and i'd get good rest.
or i'm lying to myself
who knows?
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