Friday, May 24, 2002

the wind

walking to this computer lab i was full of ideas of what to write here and what to say... all that stuff.

it's gone.

totally had an idea of what i was going to write, and it's completely slipped me, have no clue why, but it's just that way.

maybe i'll just check my email instead.

or write a nice story of which something intresting happend to me?

hmm.. story...

you'd prolly want a story about a girl.

or about something extreme

even a story that's sad, or that's miserable.

a philosophical question maybe?

on why people do certian things, or why don't certian people do things...

here we go, i got a brain tease for ya...

ever wonder how couples got together when you're strollin by? i mean you see two people holding hands or smoochin somewhere and you're like wonder how they met, got to know each other, and finally ended up together?

well...i have if no body else has.

cause i mean, at one point they didn't know eachother, and they had to have met at one point. did one of them know of the other before the formal introduction? who initiated the "i have feelings for you" notion?

see i ponder this cause i currently am crushing on a certian girl. she's totally worth the crush and she's one of my friends. so how do i do things from now out. unless someone told her something that i told someone else then she doesn't have any idea that i'm intrested in her. and our friendship is healthy. we're not best friends, nor great friends... a few steps above aquaintance is where i place our relationship, and well it very slowly but surely climbs up but not at a fast rapid pace or anything...

but i've had friends that i was intrested in and when i started to express how i felt, it drove them away! so by saying how i felt, i actually lost a friend. (for a while, she is now back as a friend) but ya see... i don't want to scare anyone off. so i don't say anything to anyone really... i try to not say anything to myself. i tell my self about the advances that i'm making in life, the goals that i'm accomplishing, and the things that i'm getting done... that's why not getting that car affected me a bit more that one would think. i mean i've been car crazy ever since i was 15!

i dreamed that for my 16th bday i'd get a car, any car!!!

now that i'm 23, and still driving the same car, there's not much advancement there, i feel like i've failed, and then asshold here goes back on his agreement and i'm a failure.

ok well that's enough, i need to nap here in the lab b4 class i'm dosing off...


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