loser



sometime i just feel like a loser. even tho i didn't really lose anything... well at that time.

it's just that my peers are going places, and they have things.

i'm going places and i have things too.. but the places i go are to school, and to parties where i'm possibly the oldest person there, and the things i have are small material things.



altho it only takes a few people to make it feel like everybody!



like when i was 16, two of my friend had cars... lots of kids i knew didn't have cars, but to me it felt like everybody except me had one. and i wanted more than anything to get one.

it finally happened and boy it wasn't so grand, cause by the time i got one, i felt like there were so many other things that other people had that i didn't!



damn, it's been so long, i feel so old, yet i'm so young!



i'm not sure what to say here to express what i feel.. i just talked to someone who i pretty much only know from my past and it kinda put me there. in the past.

i don' t really like the past.

i like the changes that the future brings.

change is the only proof that time exists



and i haven't been proving time exists lately. guess that's all that's troubling me