Friday, October 31, 2003

chips and salsa how do i love thee

there's something about chips and salsa. i just love. i love it. if you called me and asked me to come over and i said... "nahh i'm kinda busy/lazy/tired" then you mentioned... well we're just here eating chips and salsa.. i'd have a real quick chance of mind right there on the spot 10 times out of 13. nice ratio i know.

chips and salsa represents much more than a mexican food appetizer. it represents youth, culture, happyness, and togetherness.

just to hear someone eek out the words chips and salsa fills my mind with get togethers, poor college nights with no food and only beer to drink in the house, sitting down to a nice mexican (one of my favorite cuisines) restraunt... so many good times.

when you say pizza i think of cheesy parties, or lonely nights alone in my boxers watching chick flicks, crying when sam and the cutest guy in highschool finally kiss on the day after her 16th birthday.

regardless... i ate chips and salsa all day at work. what a day

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

anachronic. shake it like a polaroid picture.

i posted this on jon's comments.. dunno why it just came out after reading his blog.

"i desire to hurt people. i want to be malicious and concious free. i yearn to crush peoples feelings, hopes, desires, and hearts in my hand.

i just have to figure out how. maybe i should just not ponder and it'll happen automatically.

actually that's exactly how others have crushed my feelings, hopes, desires, and heart in their hand."

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

listen... do you want to know a secret

i've been listening to lots of songs lately. after talking to a friend who is going for her PhD in psychology i found that a good remedy to attention deficit is to listen to an entire song, focus on the words, and not drift off thinking about something else. which defeats the purpose of a song in my opinion, but that's not what the point is. this is an excercize to learn to focus and not to appreciate how songs can take you away for a while.

so i found this new dave matthews song, called stay or leave. it pertains to my pathetic sad situaiton. you know boy meets girl. boy likes girl. girl likes boy. girl finds new boy. ya. that one...

i wanted to compose a song with daves son about this, (a break up song that pertains to me situation) i mean it's been done 10,000,005 times and counting, but i wanted to do a good one, a bit different... till i came across this song. and well yea. put me in my place. dave matthews isn't rich, famous, and loved by all for no reason. and for sure not for his looks, he's kinda goofy looking... (i still idolize him though)

stay or leave:

Maybe different but remember

Winters warm where you and i

Kissing whiskey by the fire

With the snow outside

And when the summer comes

In the river

Swims at midnight

Shiver cold

Touch the bottom

you and I

With muddy toes

Stay or leave

I want you not to go

But you should

It was good as good goes

Stay or leave

I want you not to go

But you did

Wake up naked drinking coffee

Making plans to change the world

While the world is changing us

Was good good love

You used to laugh under the covers

Maybe not so often now

But the way I used to laugh with you

Was loud and hard

Stay or leave

I want you not to go

But you should

It was good as good goes

Stay or leave

I want you not to go

But you did

So what to do

With the rest of the day's afternoon hey

Isn't it strange how we change

Everything we did

Did I do all that i should

That I coulda done

Remember we used to dance

And everyone wanted to be

You and me

I want to be too

What day is this

Besides the day you left me

What day is this

Besides the day you went

So what to do

With the rest of the day's afternoon hey

Well isn't it strange how we change

Everything we did

Did I do all that I could

Remember we used to dance

And everyone wanted to be you and me

I want to be too

What day is this

Besides the day you went babe

What day is this

i'm also very much-so considering becoming a voulnteer firefighter. i think that'd be a very important skill to have. hopefully by next year i'll be able to help save some houses and stuff.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

it's a day outside

i went to taco rico in norwalk by myself for dinner one day in my loney days of living alone. and well, i brought my handheld pda in order to write some song lyrics for daves son this song was to be happy, and was to be about how nice it is outside, and enjoying it. but for some reason i just didn't feel it that day and this is what came out.

i don't know if it'll become a song, but it'll sure make for a post =)

so many years ahead

can't focus a thought

am i thinking straight

am i talking out loud

with people by

and a comfy place

and the word naive

written on my face

the sun is out

but i don't care

playin video games

in my underwear

it's a day outside

it's a play-out ride.

this friday afternoon, i feel fine.

i can feel the pinch on my arm

the coffee needs some more.

those short 24

keep my feet off the floor.

i read organize, prioritize,

there's future in my time.

more than my get by,

vacation time adds high,

calendar days fall.

the appartment eats away

what i like to call

those days outside

that i can't find

used to play or ride

now there's no time

it's a day outside

pass by me quick.

embrace it now

or live my death

it's a day outside,

it's a play-out ride.

this friday afternoon, i feel fine.

theres one week left

so the doctor said

i've gotta tumor

in the side of my head

my thoughts go back

while i'm in this bed

those days outside

when i should have said

"go play outside

put in some time

get some fresh air

it'll soon pass by"

those days outside

those playout rides

next friday afternoon

i'll have died.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

little things

something about driving home fast and listening to a fuckin great song by dave matthews makes tomorrow worth living for.
take it off!

as everyone knows, (if they actually read my daily life) i'm a bit blue these days due to a case of heartbreak. i came upon a recipe for a quick pick-me-up yesterday:

2 single roomates

1 non-single roomate with a girlfriend in colorado

$1.00 well drinks in laguna beach

a pack of freshly rolled cigars

a 4 door honda civic

a couple of 1dollar bills

the extacy strip club off fairview

so i'm not a strip club virgin anymore.

girls taking their clothes off in front of spectating people. it wasn't what i figured it'd be. but it was fun, no doubt it was fun.

i don't only recommend this recipe for heartbreak cases, but also for birthdays, layoffs, ice cream sundays, or just good ol mother's day. i wish i was wittier sometimes but find that wit isn't my thing. the card i usually play is the comedy card, but it comes out as the "i'm a loser card".

or if i'm playing cards for reals, it's play the A and 5 as if it were an A and 3... specially when two three's show up in the flop.

-sounds like i know what i'm talking about but i don't-

i think i'm hungry for another pick-me-up.

Sunday, October 19, 2003

relate to this

dave's wrote a song, that he didn't put on his album, but i love and force him to play, partially because i relate to it so much, the other part is cause i was there when he recorded it and he plays it rather goofy. none the less the lyrics are ones that i could use for my own life story:

"for all the time i spent on the edge,

should have been the end of you.

seems all the time that i'm trying to forget

but my thoughts still run in and out to you.

all my love

just a dance

my only chance

for sweet romance.

but i could be better

when i see you laying bare

i forget to show,

that i can't know or care

and how i hate

how your in my mind

don't you think,

that you'll be some friend of mine

well everyone i meet from here on out

just not ever compare to you

vile notions to my emotions

i can't carry my thoughs

go in and out to you

well up and down i find myself

i've got to go

i'm on the floor

i've got to go"

why does this song relate to me so much? why am i posting this?

well, i've been seeing a girl in a non-committed relationship for over a year now. from the end of last summer, to the end of this summer. and it slowly has crumbled to nothing due to exterior conflicts of schedules and other things.

yesterday she confronted me and told me she has someone new. they always get someone new. i'm never the "i've got someone new" person. i'm always the "you're a great guy, a great guy, but...." the chump.

and here it is again.

there's other girls out there, i'm a fisherman, i just gotta throw my hook back. but change is hard. this song tells me to buck up little camper, invite change into your life instead of hide from it and shy away for what lay ahead.

regardless. when i hear this song, i know others have felt what i am, and that there's something good a little later on.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

jacked this questionaire from june


My name is: ameer

People call me: ameer, the nose, booty, but nobody calls me baby.

in the morning i am: working, but usually still asleep. tea is my friend!

love is: puppy dogs, horsepower, and of course when chicks dig it.

if i could see one person right now: sir issac newton

i daydream about: playing pool, fishing, drinking.

tall or short: short

born: near chi town, windy citay

shoe: blue pumas and adidas

school: hell no we won't go

sibs:ama and adam

righty or lefty: lefty loosey righty tighty


been in love: l.o.v.e. is that a stupid word to me. so ya then...

smoked: tires, yes. leaves, yes. buildings, no.

bungee jumped: big rubberbands are neat, but not that neat.

broken the law: like a bank robber.

skinny dipped: ja man!

cried to get out of trouble: cried and tried but still got fried.

fallen for the wrong guy/girl: daily. hourly, minutely, just happend again.

cut your own hair: multiple times. not good tho.

been mean: ask adam and ama.

stalked someone: started to but then forgot what i was doing.

been sarcastic: see ABOUT ME quiz.

laughed until you cried: gene was holding up this spiderman suit, in longs drugs, in his pj's. till i pantsed him.

been so drunk you blacked out: too many times.

skipped school: to study or to hw, all the time.

wanted to hook up w/ a friend: this is actually the qualifying quality of one of my friends.

cried during a flick: in the theaters, to try to pick up on chicks.


what do u notice first: skin

turn on-looks: teeth, hair, ears, cheeks, ankles, fingers, arms.

turn on-personality: ability to stupify me.

turn off-looks: nasty stuff.

turn off-personality:

hair length: short is sexy, long is seductive. but both long and short is just gross.

best height: 5'3"

best weight: 90-135 (but a 38% bodyfat is a must)

best style of clothing: eccentric


red: rum

cow: time

grass: ifonia

blue: dude

mirror: shake it!

cracker: in a box

zine: one time

aol: life

jelly: pen


day/night: night

summer/winter: summer in SD

lace/satin: egyptian satin

tape/cd: tapes have much more charachter. but i use cd's

lust/love: lust (currently)

on phone/in person: personaje

gold/silver: seeeelver

scary/happy movies: happy


color: green

holiday: halloween

shampoo: cheap shit

furniture: squishy chairs, low to the grownd if possible

number: 9

emotion: giddy

food: new stuff. i'm anti candy and desserts

drink: scotch, beer, wine, cranberry juice

fast food: in n out IS what a hamburger's all about

school subject: physics - mechanics is pretty fun for a school subject

animal: golden retriver, yellowtail

sport to play: billiars, fishing,

sport to watch: soccer

flower: gerbera daisy

cartoon character: faye valentine from cowboy bebop *drool*

language: know broken english, took spanish in highschool, took korean in college, wish i could speak japanese and farsi

weekend activity: A) san diego, eat drink and be merry. B) LA LA big city of dreams.

font: X-Cryption

store: fry's electronics,

HAVE Y0U // D0 Y0U // ARE Y0U

obsessive: about buying new toys (cars, electronics, comptuers, handcrafted items)

take a shower everyday: monday thru thursday. most friday-sunday spells only allot for one shower.

like high school: in highschool i had long hair and a moustache. many friends now claim to not have known me then.

want to get married: someday over the rainbow

get along w/ your parents: like best buds!

like thunder storms: no, hate rain, hate cold.

sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to get on AIM: daily

cried because of someone saying something mean to you: takes a bit more to get me down

been rejected: daily

rejected someone: once i think i did.

used someone: *frown* yea i did... *bows head in shame*


could u live without the computer?: many claim that it is impossible

what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain: emotional translates into physical down the line.

trust others way too easily?: do this daily too...

houses lived in: i'm living in lucky number 13

bedroom carpet: i've shampoo'd this bitch 2x in the 1 1/2 months i've been here, but it's still nasty.

would you shave ur head for $5000: i'd to it for $50.00

age for marriage: 26-32

last film seen in theatre: once upon a time in mexico

what do you eat for breakfast: unsalted saltine crackers.

bedtime: sun-thurs pre 11:30pm. fri-sat post 4:00am

best feature: the nose, oh yea nose.


i miss: being missed

i fear: that things won't change.

i wonder: about random shit, the kind of stuff that makes the world turn... (newtons theory of gravity?!?)

how do you know it's love: i won't till it's all over.

i need to: be disciplined, and cut loose!
"hump day"

it's wed day, i dread wed day.

i hate it i hate it i hate it.

there is no worse evil than wed day.

wed is the root of all that is bad and uh-holy.

wed is to ameer as

hitler is to the jews, herpes are to hookers, and arnold is to california, combined.

why so bad? hump day right? humping is good?

no, first off i don't hump, second off it's the middle. the middle is the worst! i'm an extremest (is that a real word, if so spelled correctly?)

monday sucks for most people, cause they have a week of grueling work to look forward to.

i see monday as the day after. i'm still on a little bit of a "it's the weekend" high. plus work is slow... takes some time for everyone to get into the working mode again. it's a nice glide into the week.

tuesday is still not bad cause you had a easy monday and normally have nothing crazy monday night. so you're rested and you still remember that you had a good weekend.

but tuesday night, you feel a storm a-brewin. that storm is wed.

get into work, and you can't see the weekend coming anytime soon. then you try to remember what you did last saturday afternoon and you still can't recall... all you can remember is the last two days, monday and tuesday... and you were working those days!

the reason 4 day weeks feel so short isn't cause there's no monday. sure you don't go in on monday or don't go in on friday. but it's wed that they leave out (in theory) there's no middle day. you're either monday (the day after the weekend), tuesday (the day after monday), then jump to thursday! (one day left), and beloved friday.

so today is wed. what did i do this weekend. i dunno.

what will i do this weekend i dunno.

all i know is from my immediate memory i've been working forever, and i will be working forever.

only a few things can salvage a wed: going on a field trip, instant burritos with rooster sauce, and not spending any money for lunch.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003


here's a day in the life of me at work.

Friday, October 10, 2003


24 years ago my parents got themselves knee deep in shit. yea, me. i came along and that was it. i know for a fact that i was a difficult one to deal with. shit, i had to deal with me. but i got to a thinking about how tough i really had it. so girls broke my heart on my sleeve, so i didn't make straight A's, or B's or whatever grades would have been good enough to be happy.

my dad:

born in tehran iran, joined the navy when he was 17, earned a scholoarship to northwestern in engineering for 5 years, in return he had to serve in the iranian navy for however many years he went to school. after finding out from higher ranked officers that it was not really like that, he was in the navy for the long haul, he opted for a vacation to europe 2 years into his service. an out of state vacation at that time had to be approved by the shah (king) himself. 8 months after applying he was granted the vacation. he left, told noboyd. lived in europe awal from the iranian navy, later on rendezvu'd with my mom, and went to the states to get married. a few years later iran had a huge revolution. the navy officer in charge of his ship was beheaded.

my mom:

born in wisconsin. 4th youngest in a litter of 5, as the only girl. as my mother turned 2 year old grampy left granny bird. mom and her mom held together the fam as the only 2 girls in the group consisting of 4 boys. grandma worked at nestle. mom went to get her teaching credentials and then while i was a young pup did classes at night to get her masters in special ed.


biggest feat ever faced from 1979 till now: "mom, dad, i'm 16!!! how come i don't get my own car!!"

sure i have friends that are a bit more spoiled that i am, and i have friends not as spoilded. but i had access to a car when i needed. until i got the $$ to buy my own one. my life in comparison, i don't deserve what i have.

or do i?

my parents had one motivation to get them through the situations that they were in. although i've never heard them say explicity, they wanted to have a nice family, provide for that family, and live a nice, easy, cushy live while they're kids grow up at a nice pace and soon become independant, not having to struggle and work as hard as they had to. by living the life i live now, it's actually a service to my parents, showing that they're hard work and stress paid off big time. i did go to college, i have a job and am independant of them financially. i depend on them still. i couldn't last if they were to disappear, i call them at least once a week, just to say what's up and catchup on family news and events.

lookin onto the years ahead, for my kids, that's what i want for them, to not have to struggle, to equip them with what they need to find what they like, who they like, and how to care for the ones they love. sappy yea. but not my point, i'm saying that i'm thankful for mom and dad perservering some ugly obstacles for themselves, but also for me.

Wednesday, October 8, 2003


after talking to a co-worker about my ergonomic keyboard that i brought in to work, since the standard one had been giving me pains in my wrists, i did some web research.

this is where i discovered the dvorak keyboard layout. it's different than the regular layout (referred to as qwerty because that's what the upper left hand corner spells when you look at it)

so i've tried to learn this new layout. i read on the web that 99.99% of keyboard users use qwerty keyboards, but virtually any keyboard can do both, it's just a simple click in windows to change from regular to dvorak. but where are the keys???

so i went in and put stickers on my keys! and then posted a diagram on my monitor. i practice 2x a day and only for 15 mins. it says a month is how long it takes to learn it, and it's easy to go back and forth. we'll see... this could cripple my typing skills forever, or make me dual keyboard layout compatible.

i'm up for both.

so here's a pic of this intresting layout:

notice the vowels are at the left and the consinants are on the right. and the most used letters are at your fingertips, like who the hell put the letter j at your right index finger? that's prolly the most dominant finger in the majority of the population and how many times did i use the letter j in this paragraph?

dvorak is supposedly the way better, just came to late, and nobody wanted to learn the better way. i am part of that .01% of the population, i will survive, i will one day post a post using dvorak's hard earned work to my benefit. that is all. and all is that.