Thursday, March 4, 2004

those actors that can't act and can't hack the hack

"yo, let me ask my def peeping doggy squad what we're doing tonight..." -jon yang(k)

the previous has nothing to do with the latter on this post. but i'm so jacking that saying from my "boy dog" jon.

i watched the academy awards as did tons of other no-life having cuddle buddies on a sunday night. and i found myself annoyed. why was i so annoyed? the actors, them and how lord of the rings won every single time. i got sick of their theme song being played as the grinning fat guy with long hair would walk down the carpet.

here's the kicker:

this is an awards show, for actors and actresses. people who memorize lines, then recite them with the most convincing emotions and mannerisms. they're the best at what they do and they look good doing it. i'm an engineer. i solve problems, design parts and processes, i'm a professional geek and i am the best at what i do.

SO, when these actors get nominated, get all dressed up to go to the awards ceremony, slip on their $10,000.00 outfit made especially for them by mr XXXXXX fashion guy, they somehow forget their lines, and become a regular pathetic no talent person upon their acceptance speech. that's what irks me. the acceptance speech. these professional line sayers can't say their damn lines! and it's like a 30 second thank you speech that usually sounds like this:

"this is just so amazing, i'd like to thank everyone, bob, jim, irma, craig, jenny, oh and my mom, god, all the fans" -lame actor impersonation

kill me! these people work in the entertainment industry, and they're so unentertaining. actually these are the best of the best at acting, and this is the time that we find out, the awards ceremony!! this is humiliating, has anyone ever thought of this before??

note: adam sandler once had a kick ass speech, went something like, "i'd like to thank my mom, and my dad. because without them, i wouldn't be here. i'd also like to thank the motel 6 on 5th street, because without them my parents wouldn't have slept together. i'd also like to thank the makers of arbor mist wine, because without them my mom would not have been drunk enough for my dad to have sex with her thus allowing me to be here today." that shit was funny. i applaud mr. sandler.

let me draw a parallel. let's pretend that engineering somehow becomes the famed position among this twisted society. and there's a televised engineering awards ceremony, where the winner (he who performed the greatest engineering feat) had to come up to the stage and do a small demonstration of his engineering skills. i tell you, i'd practice that shit like no tomorrow. i'd have every single limit, integral, dx/dt memorized and i'd even practice out how my arms look as i write on the chalk board, where my feet go, how my head looks as i pretend to be in deep thought as if i'm winging the whole thing. but if i took the actor's approach. i'd just go up, write 1+1= 3.5, smile, shake my $10,000.00 dress, and get drunk on the way back to my seat readily awaiting my next glorious speech about bob, jim, irma, craig, jenny, oh and my mom, god, all the fans.


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