Tuesday, March 16, 2004

i'm not the best

i'm not the best anything. when i sit down and think about it, someone's always better than me.

i like computers, i consider myself to know a bit about them. but luis can program like a mother, my co-worker gregorio has the best general knowledge of computers than anyone i've met, he's not even in IT, and the IT guy asks him for advice/help!! hong is awesome at tennis, graphic design, fishing, picking up those girls you just want to say you talked to at the end of the night at random clubs. james is awesome at snowboarding, skateboarding, guitar, billiars... gene can play guitar, befriend anyone in a matter of mins, or turn a wack sausage fest into a "that was such a fun night". sonic is a better writer, and dj than i am. i could list shit forever, people that know more history, car knowledge, music, friends, places, cultures, languages, foods, secret handshakes....

i feel like i've nothing special to offer. i'm not the strongest, tallest smartest... i think some old chinese guy said that you want to surround yourself with people smarter than you. but how smart are these guys you're surrounding yourself with if they surround themselves with stupid you, and you both know that they're smarter, and you're not... they'd be doing something stupid. it's a catch 22. ok he didn't say "it's smart" to surround yourself with people smarter than you, so i guess... ok, stopping that right now.

did i mention i love my ipod. love. yes. iTunes is pretty good. it's visuals are quite captivating

so how do i cope with my "i'm not the best at anything" complex? i don't. i just accept it. i've learned that if i want to be the best at something, i will have to devote myself to that one thing, and only that. meaning i'd have to drop other things. that's why i'm an avg dj, know enough to get by with computers, can skateboard better than the average 24 year old, understand how a car engine works and can explain it but can't rebuild one, i'm sorta fun when i get to a party, and i've learned enough spanish that i could get by at a taco shop like i actually speak spanish, but am just a quiet person with a bad accent.

being mediocre is pathetic, but being mediocre in a lot of things, is impressive. or maybe just i think this...


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