the grass



the god damn grass is so green everywhere... but for some reason when i get

there, it's brown, it's dirt even. it's brown dirt that people take their

dogs to, to take dumps when their dogs have diarrhea.



ok, sounds like i'm pretty mad. i'm not, but i wanted to spit some dog sh*t

humor for those that love it. but one does some thinking after moving a 60

gallon fishtank... at least this one does. thinking about what? girls

that's what! what else, the ultimate, the primero dinero, CHICKS!



ya man, chicks digging it. come to think, i've never seen a chick dig, so

how the hell have i been fooling myself that some chick will dig me. i

dunno... there's just a few factors that pile up like dog diarrhea and

pretty soon you have a stinky mountian of crap that you just can't get rid

of.



i'm referring to the few small problems like why am i such a picky person

when it comes to chicks. on the ride home i was telling

nancy about what i like and

don't like about girls and what girl i was looking for... and in telling her

what i wanted, i concluded that she's imaginery. and that i'm just

preposterous. i also realized, and didn't tell nancy this, but she'll read

it someday... that most of the girls that i hang out with have boyfriends!

i mean, i'm looking for this needle in a haystack, but i'm not even in the

haystack.. i'm out in the barn. looking for the cows that have already been

milked. i guess i'll be one of those guys who's 45, never been married,

drives a red convertible, and sleazily picks up on bored housewives that

have husbands that work all day and don't please their women. i'll prolly

live in an RV but have some rich friend lend me their vacation house, and

pose it as my own.



geez, looks like i've got to change some habits or else it's a grim future.



-this just in, 60% of japanese people have sex among friends "that's like

asking a girl who is your friend to hook it up with a bj" "they also lead

the world with the lowest amount of STDs" -annonymous japanese guy



with stats like that, and knowing that english and american are the talk of

the town over on that island, maybe i should just go back there... i mean

i'd make friends with girls who had boyfriends, but i'd be there friends,

and apparently if i make 10 friends like that, i'm hookin up with 6 of them!

and still living the swinging batchelor life!



no wonder it's so expencive to live there and so many people are in such a

small place.



anyhow... in conclusion, there is none. screw going after green grass...

the green grass is a fake chase!