Wednesday, November 6, 2002

nothing to lose

going into most situations i look at what it is i have to gain first of all... then secondly what it is that i have to lose. if i ration that i have nothing to lose then i'll usually go ahead with the contemplated situaition... but if what i'll most likely gain from a situation is not worth what it is that i'll lose, then that is a sign for me to look elsewhere for what i was initially looking for.

fun entertaining example:

$20.00 bill.

so i'm walking down the parking lot to my car, on my way to somewhere when i look at the groud and i see a nice shiny twenty dollar bill looking at me saying hey can you be my new owner. head turn in both directions to see if there's a potential owner who has just recently left the scene.. none. i'm 20 dollars richer!! (richer implies that i was previously rich and am now richer, 20 dollars richer implies that 20 dollars is a large percent of my total bank account and implies the truth... i'm broke!) so i'm happy to have this new found andrew jackson picture

putting it into my pocket i ponder all the things i wish that i could have bought and the things that i wish i had enough money for, then i start to feel a concience and think about what bill this could pay for or what level my gas gauge is at in my thirsty car. either way, however i spend this money it doesn't matter... this money i could literally tear up and burn and i'd not know the losses since i didn't have to work for this and it really doesn't belong to me....

or does it?

now that i've come to this 20 dollar bill... i've added it to my own collection of money. it's a part just like my last paychecks and the change in my car cup holder. if i were to somehow lose this 20 like the previous owner did.... or worse yet bump into the previous and rightful owner and be forced to give it back, i'd feel the loss of this 20 dollars just as difficult as if it were my own hard earned 20 dollar bill. course i'd keep on telling myself that this was something that came to me for free and that i shouldn't even care cause i didn't have to do anything and it was there... but i'd still have that same feeling that it was $20.00 and it WAS mine and now it's NOT. a difficult concept to deal with, how long must you posess a 20 dollar bill in order to take it in as your own. if i were to immediately destroy it when it came to me would i feel less mourn if it were to sit in my wallet for three weeks and then after carrying it with me everywhere i go, realize that i was just as careless as the last person who had their hands on this bill.

there is something to lose. there is a reason to avoid finding that 20 dollars. but then again, that free tank of gas feels so much better than any other tank of gas, and deserves to be driven on an adventure, celebrated with those who will appreciate the value of a free tank of gas.

just because the 20 dollars didn't come to me conventionally like all other 20 dollar bills do doesn't mean i should treat it differently. after all it's 20 dollars!!!


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