Saturday, June 10, 2006

boarders adventure

adventures in borders

as soon as anyone asks me “have you ever read that book….” i immediately reply “no”. i don’t read books, i haven’t read books. in high school and college i’d read every 3rd page of our assigned reading. surprisingly one can attain c’s and b’s from every third page of a book. i wonder if mom will be proud or disappointed when she reads this (note: my mom does read my blog).

with that i’m going to break my personal blog rule number 1, talk about my day. that’s right, i’m regressing to 14 year old high school girl blog style for this entry. hey nobody’s putting a gun to anyone’s head here are they?

i went to the dermatologist today, his office is right near a borders book store. my co-worker, knowing this, gave me a half used gift card to borders. he said there was approx 10 dollars on there, and that i should just finish it up. now let the record show that i have been to borders by myself one single time, and was on a specific mission to find a book that almost didn’t exist for mom’s christmas gift.

i walked in planning to spend 10 smackers on something fun, and then go home and enjoy my friday afternoon. that didn’t happen.

i started out at the music section, when about fourtyeight seconds passed and i realized
a few things:
1. borders has a limited selection of the stuff i’m into: house/electro/dnb (which is lumped into a category called ‘dance’), and an abundance of trance (also labeled dance) which i’m not so into.

2. i’m a computer geekazoid, i could download any album sitting on boarder’s shelf, and if i really put some effort, i’m sure i could download stuff that’s soon to be on border’s shelf! (but that’s morally wrong)

3. i lack the morals necessary to prevent myself from queuing illegal downloads!! (mom, you should have stop reading this post a while ago…)

those three reasons got me out of the music section and on the hunt for a 10.00 purchase. i needed to purchase a real book. paper, glue, cardboard, dust, etc.

i know, journals! i like to write. i could always use a cool nifty journal. i walked over to the journals, but not before buying a nice hot fresh boarders coffee. a lady with blonde hair past her ass wearing a matching pink felt jogging suit with stripes was standing there. 15 years ago she was getting attention from all the boys, but her prime had obviously long since passed… i was apparently the only one informed of this. she quickly asked me which journal was a better buy for a boy. little does she know that i tend to gravitate towards hello kitty when it comes to stationery.

somehow i feel that she got the impression i wasn’t standing there to look at journals, i think, that she thought, i was there checking her out!! so i sipped my coffee, tried to answer her ‘you must be a manly man’ question with a short fragment sentence, and went on checking out journals. and i sipped my coffee, and again. she persisted to ask me questions of which was more manly, and why. with a long sleeve shirt on, a jacket over that, and constant ingestion of hot coffee, i started to sweat. i noticed i was sweating, and didn’t want to give her the impression that i was nervous talking to her, because she wasn’t attractive!

somehow it ended with me spilling a bit of coffee on my hand, pointing to the wooden covered journal held by her left hand –leaving a drip of coffee on the journal. she put the journal back on the shelf, grabbed a coffee drip free journal off the shelf, and quickly scuttled off. i was sweating, had a wet finger, and didn’t want any of those journals.

i meandered over to the reference section, perhaps i was in store to purchase a c++ programming book. what could i do with c++??

“how to make music on the mac” caught my eye, but after a glance-over, i knew that throwing $14.99 into a flushing toilet would teach me more than this black and white book.

borders had dvd’s i remembered! how about purchasing the big lebowski special edition to replace the normal edition i have have at home. why does the transporter 1 cost only $19.99 and the transporter 2 retails at $29.99??? has anyone at borders seen the transporter 2?

i was obviously desperate, so i broke the glass and pulled the alarm. call the person i know who frequents borders the most that is. she didn’t answer!!! what was i to do?!?! i’m at borders, i need to spend this gift card, and i can’t find anything worth the free credit i was given… it was almost like a demented torture.

minutes later lilly called me back, i followed her advice and purchased a comic type book, glad that stressful situation had blown over. i’m going to be much more careful next time i accept free credit, much more careful.


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