Thursday, December 16, 2004

generation x has their own holiday!

during a nice warm shower too early in the morning (the time and location where my most profound thought generation occurs) i a question arose… xmas. why do they call it xmas? christmas = xmas, hu? well… i’m an engineer, and engineers think in terms of logic and math. we know that the following is a fundamental concept which we use to describe nature:

if: (x)9 = (y+z)9

then: (x) = (y+z)

with this we can conclude that christ = x from the statement [christmas = xmas]. what does that mean?

i didn’t stop to answer that question. my brain was then bombarded with questions… so i resorted to what i knew… the “facts”. christmas is dec. 25th, when baby jesus was born to the virgin mother mary. three wise men gave jesus presents. no room in the inn… a manger (what is a manger anyhow? in all those nativity scene’s it looks like a crib with hay in it… but who has one of those in a regular barn?) and lots of animals watching what’s going on. flash forward 2000 years and what do we have? an old fat guy who lives in the north pole, flys with a sleigh that has reindeer [flying ones no less], employs an army of elves to manufacture toys which he in turn gives to children who are good. of course he monitors these children yearly and keeps a detailed list. to top it off, we put a tree inside the house and decorate it in hopes that the presents will be left underneath it.

what did i miss? god gives his only son in turn for everyone’s sins and we evolve it into this. so what did we do when this guy jesus died? oh yea.. easter!! don’t get me started on that holiday! rabbits?!? eggs?! baskets?!

since we’ve totally bastardized christmas –hence the word “christ” is in front of mas, the spanish word for “more”… we replace it with an x. xmas.

i did a bit of searching, and found an intresting page about the history of santa claus. here’s my rundown:

st. nicholas of turkey was a good guy, shit he was a saint. some poor girls couldn’t afford dowry [money a dad gives the guy who marries his daughters] so good ol st. nick gave them the money anonymously. he didn’t do a good job at doing this so anonymously, but he tried. by sending 3 sacks of gold down the chimney… which happened to land in the 3 daughter’s socks, which were hanging by the fireplace in order to dry out. he died on dec. 6th, which is when his day was later celebrated. after the church banned the celebration of this day, a backfire to their plan occurred thus meshing the two (christmas and st. nick’s day of death) into one. i think jesus got the short end of the stick in there, but he made up for it with the whole b.c. and a.d. year count switch over and all. sinterklaas is how you pronounce st. nick in dutch… that was later bastardized into santa claus.

so then, christmas has been modified, changed, altered, and mutated into what it is today- no wonder we call it xmas. i love when the puzzle pieces all come together!

i wonder what 9/11 is going to be 2000 years from now? maybe we’ll celebrate it on 11/9 instead, and have a majic sperm wale named talsama talbina that brings everyone frozen chickens which we dance around with for 10 mins then cook over an open flame which we have to set up in our family room along with a formation of rocks that symbolizes the fallen buildings. don’t tell me it couldn’t happen!!!


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