Thursday, December 19, 2002


the indians lived peacefully. they didn't understand the concept of ownership.

the europeans lived forcefully. they didn't understand the concept of sharing.

the indians didn't take what they didn't need. if they were hungry, they'd take some food. until they were full. and then stop taking it. it'd be there when they were hungry again.... they lived on the principal that if you don't need it right now then don't take it. and if you do need it right now then take it.

the europeans belived in saving. if you don't have enough money to buy something, save your money until you do. if you are hungry, and there's more food on the table than you need. take some for later, cause you'll get hungry later, and who knows where the food would be when that happens.

now then... applying these ideas to my life. i see that there are certain experiences which i want to experience before i die. but for some reason now isn't the time to do so. and i feel that i'm "saving" them untill i have that opportunity. "i've always dreamed of _____ " i find myself saying, and then saying "but i can't now, cause i have to do _______ instead" but no. i don't have to do ________ instead. i don't HAVE to do anything. i do everything that i wish to do. sometimes because i'm certain that it'll benefit me in the future. actually most of the time. always focusing on the future. but the indians were more focused on the present.

the present can't be pushed aside for focusing on the future.

i've decided that if i find myself saying that i really wanted to do something, then i should find out what it will take in order for me to do it! why wait? will the times really become better to do what it is that i want? will they get worse? who knows. i guess since i live in america, i should pretend that i'm an indian, instead of a european, even though the did conquer the indans... maybe i should look into being forcefull and greedy, strictly for survival?


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