Sunday, October 20, 2002


with time always ticking, it is inevitable that things will and do change. for example, me. and my life. these are two things which in fact have changed daily and will continue to do so daily. some days it seems as if nothing changes. there are those other days that are eye openers and change life as we know it. examples of these i can not think of off the top of my head, which by the way is the underlying theme and reason for the existence of this website. the top of my head. no not my hair, but ideas. things that fly in on a gust of wind and then vanish just as fast. one day i decided to catch those ideas and document them... what a weird concept.

so changes happen, great, whoop. that's my grand topic for the moment? no. the results of change, the aftermath. sequel. step 2. next in line. what happens next.

the past few weeks, i have endured quite many changes. from living arrangements, to daily schedule, even the city has changed which i live in.

quite a bit of change for me i'd say. but that is all environmental. what results do such changes bring to one's behavior? sure i eat different foods at different times and sleep at different times but we're trying to dig deeper than that. do i think differently too? am i excited about different things now? is there certian people who i act differently towards. more interestingly enough, do other people reacting to changes in their lives act differently towards me?

dramatic changes are hard for people to understand or cope with. people fear change, although they know that it's inevitable. some people believe that they have reached happyness once, and change took it away from them, so their life quest was to find that which made them happy at that one moment in time. they can't accept the fact that change won't bring them back to where they were, it's impossible. things and people around you change even if you don't. so there is no way to go back.

a wise man who shared knowledge with me once said that he never goes back, because you can't. so when i asked "when do we go back to school?" he said "we aren't going back to school, we're going to school." -this was told to me when i was 16years old, and has stuck with me since then. i won't forget it. i can't go back, nobody can... yet we all try to, we all at some point wish to....

that is until change brings us something we weren't expecting. something that helps us remember the bitter taste behind the candy coated memories that we hold on to and strive to once again achieve. when something like this comes along the future is now anticipated instead of the past sought for. hnopes and dreams fill your head and before you know it the past which you so longed for isn't what you want at all. there's more out there to see and do, the tides of change are in your favor and you've got your sail set with a large wind headed your way. from the past, we now look to the future!

and this, my friend, is when i recall the 2nd of 3 very important things taught to me by the wise man that i once new....

"if you have one foot in the past, and another foot in the future. all you can do is piss on the present..."

the present, the NOW, carpe diem stuff... how about right now? the day, today. it's so easy to look forward and to look back, but to look ar right now is never easy. right now things aren't what we want. we want what's to be, or what has been. ever hear of the old people who complain about movie prices and how candybars used to cost a nickel...

that's right, so as i read this i question one thing to myself. what was the third thing that the wise man said to me?

"Ameer, don't leave any of them out. date them all: big girls, little girls, fat girls, skinny girls, black girls, white girls, all girls. then you know which ones you like."


Post a Comment