Wednesday, March 16, 2005

”come and talk to me! i really wanna meet you”

meeting girls is not my forte, (did i say forte?) ok i suck at meeting girls/women/female humans. all of them. i’m not alone in this area of expertise, almost all normal men share the same disability as i do.

let’s paint a typical scenario:
your run of the mill cute (single) girl is out buying a book. one isle over we see our man…that guy that you know, one of your regular ol’ friends. the one that’s such a good guy but when it comes to anything female he falls flat on his face, in the mud, in front of a stadium full of people. he’s the guy who you sometimes wonder about, will he ever get a girlfriend? back to the painting of a mental picture, he sees the cute girl and realizes that she’s cute. he walks over to her with the intention to say something which will spark conversation. within 30 seconds he’s totally goofed it up and she’s just chiseled into her mind that this guy will never get her phone number. we all know (as people at home watching this) in actuality, he’d be a much better boyfriend than her previous 3,but he just doesn’t know how to talk to women.

this is not an uncommon scenario, i’ve witnessed it many times. i can even say that i am guilty of being in such an awkward situation a few times. (when i muster up the cucarachas to actually approach a complete stranger). so what do men with no knowledge of how to meet women do? the recent movie hitch had one remedy, but hiring will smith to consult you on how to win over women isn’t really feasible for most men.

i asked 4 different women for my research. the first woman was single, the second had just started dating a guy, the third is 1 year and a few months into her relationship, and the fourth is counting 5 years consecutive with the same boy. i asked each women what she would think/feel in the same scenario.

the scenario i presented was as follows:
“so imagine that you meet a boy, you are a single girl for this hypothetical example. he’s smooth, but he’s not a player. you grow comfortable with him quickly, and he is sincere. you date a few times and during a date at his home or in his car you come across a few “how to meet women” tapes/books/dvd’s. how do you feel about this? what do you think?

the 3 girls with men said that they’d feel awkward upon stumbling onto his collection of “how to meet women” books. the one with the 5 year relationship’s first words were “i’d run”. the single girl looked a bit surprised and then said it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

my polls aren’t sufficient for any ground breaking discoveries. i can conclude that people in relationships very quickly forget how hard it is to be single, and how grueling the process of finding a significant other is. i also want to tell all men who have any self help books on the meeting of women subject to burn the books as soon as they do meet a woman of interest.
i’m also certain that anyone who reads this will first wonder how i came up with such a scenario, and then ask me if i own any self help books that guide me to the meeting of women. however i explain myself, i’m certain nobody will believe me. i do not have any “how to meet women” books/tapes/cd’s/dvd’s/ebooks/pamphlets/napkins with notes/ or mp3 files. the facts point to this post being my validation to purchase such self-help materials. i’m a super loser with the women, i don’t have a girl that i’m currently dating, and frankly… i sit at home and think of these things such as this to write about in my idle spare time.

i feel like i should read some of these books, post what i’m told to do. then try the techniques and document the results. but then again, failure at that would be a really big slap in the face, i don’t know if i’m ready for life to give me another one of those.


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