Tuesday, November 21, 2006

"nobody goes to sleep alone"

"nobody goes to sleep alone"

my friend once told me the above quote.

initially i felt that this was a sappy quote, seeing as he just met his now-girlfriend it was fitting that he'd tell me a romantic quote. but i error on instinct far too often to trust myself. only until he explained the quote did it make sense to me what he meant.

i don't remember who said the quote, and google was of no benefit. my search results consisted of erotic stories and carpet care faq (frequently asked questions). so this post will credit nobody for the conception of this line.

my friend explained that people physically go to sleep by themselves all the time, but they never go to sleep alone.

simply put, the quote is saying that the last thought someone has before they fall asleep is always a good one. people normally think of a lover, friend, family, a fun memory, a joyous place, etc. this happy thought is the catalyst for people to fall asleep. a lonely or unhappy mind is a very difficult thing to put to rest.

not too long ago a friend called me very early in the morning. she lives on the east coast, and i was sleeping when she called. i talked to her for a minute or two and fell back asleep. i forgot 90% of the conversation, but she was in my dream after i hung up and fell back asleep. i told her later on that her early phone call placed her in my dream. she said "that's why i always read cookbooks before i go to sleep, so i dream of food!!"

in hemingway's the old man and the sea, one of few in my small repertoire of read books, the main character is a very lonely old man. he hasn't caught a fish for months, and has virtually nobody. he regularly dreams of lions on the african beach when he sleeps. it's told to us that he loves the memory of those lions on that beach. the time in his life when he saw them was his favorite.

i started to think about who/what i think about when i go to sleep. lately i've been reading insanelymac.com. a website dedicated to running apple's osx on a non-apple computers. perhaps i'm more like the old man and the sea than i knew? apple's operating system was called panther, tiger, and the new one is called leopard!

i now wonder about people with insomnia, are they simply searching for that memory or idea that'll put them to sleep? tyler durden could have just been lonely.

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

list of priorities

priority list

when i was growing up, dad layed down the list of priorities. this list wasn't a suggestion or an option, it was my list.

1.) health
2.) familiy
3.) schoolwork
4.) everything else

of course, when i was a teenager, dad's list was absurd. so i made up my own list based on my life experience.

1.) friends
2.) health
3.) family stuff
4.) everything else

schoolwork came in last but i still had enough leftovers dumped into priority no.4 to get into an accredited college, lead a prosperous civilian consumer lifestyle, and almost contribute to society. but lately i've come to notice that dad's list wasn't as convoluted as i initially thought it was.

i've noticed that my body isn't as invincible as i thought it would always be. i don't heal as fast, i don't last as long, and i gain weight when i'm not careful. health has to take priority spot number one now, dad you were right on that one. without health, i can't do anything, the rest of the list is null if health isn't taken care of.

i have mixed feelings regarding family. i look at my parents, who are nowhere near their immediate family members (mom's family is in the midwest, and dads family is in the mideast). at some point family took a bit of a back seat to other priorities like friends. friends get you jobs, a wife or husband starts out as a friend, friends are there for you when family can't be. friends are there for you all the time, family is there for you during family time -or so i've experienced.

tho friends come and go just as dad said they would, though i've found it has been very rare to not have a single friends at any given moment between now and when i was in school. friends are always there (for me) however it's not always the same friend.

everything else:
school, studying, working, jobs, money... the necessary evil. i say do as little as possible to get as much as possible. by definition, everything else simple gets stuck as last priority except for those few rare occasions when it has to be bumped up the priority list in order to make it appear that it's always on top (for those few who need to see it like teachers/bosses/managers/customers).

but i feel that my true list of priorities won't shine thru until i'm a parent or guardian, pushing down my "do as i say, not as i do" list. for now i'm experimenting with what works.