and the sun came out





( i wrote this on 6/25/2003 but blogger was down)

but now it's new and improved! the wait was worth it =)





the sun came out yesterday. in more ways than one and no i didn't sun someone. (as opposed to moon someone) things just turned a bit around... my mild depression sorta took a turn for the better, i'm guessing cause i need the sun around. it's a chemical thing. and i know that with chemicals, things aren't good.



but today was the first day i woke up feeling peppy, not like i ran around the room doing jumping jacks and screaming, i still took a 15 min shower where i sat down and brushed my teeth for 5 mins.



but it just felt good today. temporarily. how i realized that there's going to be a nice bumpy painful road ahead. and i don't just mean that as far as the weather. i mean in almost every aspect of my life. work, house, money, girls, friends, hobbies...



i'm looking forward and i'm seeing nothing going smooth, lots of hard work in front of me, and before today all i could do was lay down before it and surrender hoping that a when i wake up my eyes will open to another road, a smooth one, filled with beautiful women, fast cars, money to toss away and, as little work as possible.



instead i opened my eyes and realized that people climb mountians. and they don't climb these mountians just to have a good view, or for the fresh air. they do it cause it's a bitch, and when the look down the mountain they see that bitch and say to themselves "i took that bitch, i took her and i could take her again" so standing at the foot of my own mountian (literally i got shit up in my appt like all over the place, i still have to unpack) i felt that. and i desired to say to that bitch that i took her. i'm in the bitch taking mood. this blog entry was a bitch and do you know what i did with her.