expectations



a while ago my family from iran came over to visit for a few months. my grandma, aunt, and uncle. once again my father's family would all be under the same roof. (with the exception of my grandfather, but he has long since passed away.) i has seen my grandmother once before, as well as my aunt. my uncle i had never met before. this was an exciting time for me. the fact that they all speak farsi as a first language and their english is as broken as it can break makes it difficult to communicate. but having extended family around is something that i feel i have less of than most of my peers. last time my grandma came over i was in grade school. she brought me an allah. a gold neclace with a pendant that says allah in farsi and is commonly worn just as crosses are worn here. mom put it in a safe deposit box.



this time they were coming and my mom asked me what i was going to ask for. i remember the conversation in the kitchen. i don't want anything, i'm just stoked to meet the people that i'm realated to, all i remember from them is that i don't know how to communicate with them. seeing them is present enough. mom said, ok, but you know that you don't see them that much, and there's things over there that are cheaper and better quality like gold, jewelry, leather, and persian rugs, etc... all these things sound cool but i wasn't about to go and make a christmas list for my family that i've met once.



so then it dawned on me. i want something of value. something significant to our family. i wanted a family airloom! something i could say my grandfather who i never met that lived in a country on the other side of the world used or bought or had. that sounded way cooler than a silk rug or a gold tea set. so my order was set. i would have been fine with nothing and just seeing them since i don't even know them but feel that i should, and want to get to know them, to learn more about myself.



christmas time rolls around and i'm hoping for an old teapot, pocketwatch, shoe horn, pen, i dunno! something that my ancestors once held... it's my turn to open up the present. i've got two of them. one is a small jewelry box. the other is an even smaller one. wow. maybe i got someone's ring, and a neclace, or a bracelet. something cool must have come my way. man i'm glad i asked for something instead of just being content with seeing my family...



i open up the first package and i find a cheap, anchor blue style bracelet. my brother opens his up and it's an almost identical bracelet. i can't believe i let my imagination get the best of me again. but i did. the next box yielded a matching neclace. just from looking at it and holding it i could tell that this neclace would tarnish and discolor within a week of being worn.



now i'm let down. and i shouldn't be. i'm frustrated with how i allowed myself to go from excited and content, to expecting so much, to disapponted, all with a little conversation from my mom. i should have just kept to my guns. let her know that it's not important. and now i know. i'm going to have to start the family airloom thing cause nobody here has and if i'm going to have a say in this, my family will have family airlooms!! and that's final! time to buy some good quality nicknacks and set them up for preservation, this may be more expencive than i thought. oh well it's for the family!