mid life crisis



what's the average life expectancy of a human being? what's the average age of someone going thru their mid-life crisis? if i have a mid life crisis at 50, does that mean i'm most likely going to live till 100? i have heard that 75-79 is the avg life expectancy for a human being. i'm usually below average (grades, salary, bank accnt, number of friends, number of girls i've gotten lucky with) so that means i'll prolly kick the bucket a bit before 75. probably 60!!!! shit! i'm going to die at 60! i won't even be able to retire, and that's so what i'm looking forward to! being old, having some cash, doing nothing all day, hopefully having a chick... man that'd be great, and now i don't think i'm going to get it



worse yet, it looks like my mid life crisis will be at 30!! well i'm 5 years left till that day, i better start saving up for a convertible. probably a red one. and fast. real fast. oh but i was planning on getting married around then. yea 30-32 get married. (sure i gotta start getting girls to date me a bit more serious, but i got time for that... )



wait. it just dawned on me.



here i was thinking that i had no time, that since i'm below average, i'd be dying at a below average age. but i just remembered. and it took me a bit to remember this. but i'm a procrastinator (i even procrastinated on remembering i was one) and that means i'll procrastinate dying! i was born late, my brother says i'll show up late to my own funeral. i think i was 2 weeks late in being born. not sure gotta ask my mom. maybe i was 2 days. or 2 somethings... i wasn't paying attention then. i was busy you know. procrastinating.



so i guess i'll procrastinate my life. i'll have my mid life crisis at 50, which will guarantee me turn 100 since well... the middle of my life i had a crisis. and THAT'S where the convertible comes in... red, and fast!