two weeks in



last night i stopped a candle burning by putting my hand over the opening of the candle holder till the candle suffocated and died. it was a valiant display of masculinity...

what were we doing? it was 4am, and we were playing cards.



with that manly piece of information i'd like to share a metaphore that's been on my mind lately. sparked from the words of my friend "you're not looking for a girlfriend now are you?"



i took that question in and thought about it real hard. not about if i'm looking for a girlfriend now or not, the answer to that is easy, but to why he asked that question? he must see the world much different than i, or maybe he sees me much different than i. we both have different perspectives on both objects.



first i answered the question as such:

i always carry by bow and quiver of arrows, just in case...ya never know when the perfect doe willl pop out of nowhere, but then sometimes i just shoot bunnies and rabbits for fun. just for the sport!



this one gave a chuckle to the fellas and we were on our merry way to drinking, smoking, gabmbling... er more like playing guitar, chess, and cards all on our eventful saturday night.



but this metaphore doesn't fit the bill. it's missing something, it's actually backwards. i'm depicted as the hunter in this fantasy world where in fact i'm not the hunter, i'm more of a guardian. everybody has a large field, which represents their self. some people have a plush, diverse, intresting field, seen by everybody and very straight forward. other's have large walls around their field with guards and rifles. everyone has a dark place in their field where they keep the things that are precious to them. mainly what is referred to as the heart.



most people guard their heart, hide it away and make a fake one for people to come by and check out, and even stomp on when they desire. but then there's the real heart. the one that only a few are allowed into, and moreso than none noboyd leaves, even if that is what is desired.



i guard my heart. there have been a few sly folk who managed to trick me into showing them the real one, and then the decided to step on it...

but with every occurance like that, there are more than enough people who feel as if the almost don't deserve to see the real one and be a part of the sacred area of the field.



who will pass by my field today? i don't know. nobody does.

who will i let into my field today? anyone can come into my field, but i'll show them the decoy heart... only until you prove that you aren't planning to destroy my field, can i show you the real heart.