i never want to speak to you again



i can't get over it,

i'm a fuckin clown. i can't take anything seriously.

i always gotta make a joke, be the clown.



there's a time to be serious and a time to play.

i have problems knowing this, i feel like i play all day

even when i shouldn't.



so what do you say/do when a friend needs comforting. when i need comforting i usually just talk to someone and while they're speaking i zone out and don't even listen to them. so should i just ramble on and assume that they're not listening to me? not everyone thinks like me. actually i think most people think opposite of me.



it's hard for me to view problems of others if i don't have those problems.



my friend told me that as long as i support and show that i'm here for problem times then that should be good. and well i think that's all that can be done. but i don't feel satisfied with that...



hmm.. thinking waaaaaaay back to when i had a girl, and girl problems geez, it's hard to remember those repressed harsh feelings, but the only good times i remember having is when i wasn't by myself thinking of all the reasons why i wasn't out with friends or wasn't out being independant and why i was moping and being lazy...



girls.. problems.. take the good with the bad.

it's like playing tennis by yourself all the time then switching to doubles... at first it sucks, but you learn to work as a team and winning is more fun cause you can share it with someone!

*plus it seems like even if you are playing solo, you're against a doubles pair!