i've lost it



had a long day yesterday,

missed my class today.



don't feel bad, haven't done anything yet either. i've lost it.

i had this drive this quarter, things were on such a high about 4 days ago

feels like i had the world workin in my favor... how wrong was i?

things since then have plummeted...



i don't understand why?

that god damn car thing really made me feel like an ass



i mean the guy and i had an agreement, then he went with another bidder. after we said ok

i was supposed to get it today.

shouldn't have told anyone about it,

shouldn't have gotten excited about it,

fuck, i should just do what i've been doing for god damn who knows how long, and just wait some more...



the top 5 bondfire was fun, but the drama behind such an innocent activity just demoralized me even more. makes me want to make everything more generic and more bland just cause it's way eaiser on me. makes me wonder why am i even putting in so much effort? i should just ride along and enjoy...



i guess what would make everything better is if i had someone who could hug me and say "it'll be alrite honey" well i have a lot of people who would do that for me, it's just that they'd be mocking me



well, in that case i'll just have to focus on getting my lab done by tomorrow, and that damn meeting i have to go to, what a piece