are you serious!?!?



stress is a killer, no really, fish commonly fall dead due to stress. not i'm not calling humans fish (fish have more integrity) but i am saying that stress is like smoking, it's bad yet people quote nike and "just do it".



so i try to live stress free. it's not easy, it's hard to not worry. when the shit hits the fan, i think it takes a lot to look at why that wasn't such a bad thing that just happened. some people step in shit and throw their shoes away, i step in shit and find a reason to buy a super duper shoe cleaning brush with vacuume attachment.



sometimes people mistake me for not caring. i care about a lot of things and a lot of people, but i don't want wrinkles and grey hair as proof. i guess it's weird to not get bent out of shape when something mildly out of the ordinary occurs.



maybe the reason i avoid stress, like that pimply faced girl in 6th grade that thinks it's funny to kiss all the boys in gym class, is because i deal with stress so poorly! when i'm stressed out i'm much more intolerable than most people are when i'm stressed out. i lose appetite, and may even snap at my very own dear mum. that's right, it gets that bad!!

reading



I’ve been reading a bit. I normally dislike books, but will be frequently found reading garbage on the internet. i realized why I hated reading school books as opposed to different web pages or magazine articles. As soon as I find something boring my mind starts to wander. So this action of my eyes going over the words, and my mind going over my thoughts always catches up at a paragraph break or a page turn. “wait, what did I just read?” crap! So I go back over it again, and this time read it the right way, the way that I read when my mind is focused on the words that my eyes are browsing.



I figured it’d be a great movie scene tho. Have a character reading a book, and hearing his voice (the voice in his head) and then all of a sudden switch to his fantasy, but here’s the cool part, still keep his words from the book audible! Then do a switch to the characters in the book that are totally different than his daydream, and back again to him reading and hearing his voice when all of a sudden he stops and says “crap!, what did I just read!”



Maybe that’d not be so cool… eh, I’m an engineer, that’s my excuse! What’s yours!

F is for Fantastic!



There is an infinite number "million dollar ideas". most of which we come up with at work during down time.... and as I’m looking around at different companies that do different things, it’s mind blowing how much money they make doing what it is they do.



All it takes is someone with some the balls, or lack of fear to go through with their idea. My dad once told me that he came from nothing. His shoes would be re-soled as many times as possible, instead of simply trashed and new ones bought (and as I was cleaning out my crap yesterday I threw away 3 pairs of shoes that I hadn’t worn in about 10 months). He told me this and said that in america there is one difference that stands out to him, and that difference is: “it’s ok to fail”.



It’s the fear of failing that keeps many people from trying out their ideas. People with realistic ideas for their own success are suppressed daily by the fear of not recieving a paycheck every 2 weeks like they're used to. But failing is ok, I sure found that out early in life and have failed many times ever since. Whether it be school, work, girls, sports, or video games even… failing is an option and it’s not as bad as many people make it out to be.



I’ve failed classes in school. And I feel that I learned quite a bit from that experience. some never do fail a class… and when they inevitably fail at something in life, the concept of simply failing overwhelms them and they don’t know how to react! That’s when people bring machine guns to work. (well I mean it could be an example).



The great people of our time failed. It takes quite a bit of failures in order to achieve success. Thomas Edison is one of them… He busted his ass and failed, many times, but you all know him as the dude who invented the light bulb. success-full.



“Results? Why, man, I have gotten lots of results! If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is often a step forward.... “ –Thomas Edison



so here we have, the man himself said that even if you fail 10,000 times and make it big one time… that’s all you need. RE: the eminem song from the 8 mile soundtrack (not like I know the lyrics and scream them at the top of my lungs when KISS FM plays their hourly rotation of the song) but he says it only takes one time, and sometimes you only have one time.



The wright brothers must have failed many times and learned from their failures. And each time became closer to the “first flight” by mankind, not to mention going down in history as the pioneers of what's now a phenominally huge industry! Finally, they got it, and they’re heros. But during their wild adventures they must have been looked down upon. Imagine quitting your job, telling your boss you want to go fly, and to add more to that, nobody had ever accomplished that before. Then telling your mom, dad, friends, neighbors… every body gets conservative around times like that, and shed their wisdom of how being conservative pays off.



well orville and wilbur didn't have cool names but we'll remember them for forever because they failed and didn't give up. i really want to wrap this up somehow but i can't. maybe i need a million dollar idea coupled with some balls/guts to go thru with it.

those in between areas



talk to any engineer and they like their stuff how? Black and White. but then there's those areas... where things aren't clear cut. the areas that are a big hazy, foggy, iffy.... the "____" areas. what areas are we talking about?



that's right "the gray areas". not to be confused with "the grey areas".



or maybe the two are to be confused. gray and grey are both in the dictionary. (and both on dictionary.com!) it appears that gray is the more widely used but the fact that they both exist, both have the same definition, and both represent something that is not clearly defined, is just awesome to me.



i'm sure it's some evil ploy by the government (when are they not behind an evil ploy) to brain wash us and turn us into a gray/grey confusing race. and with that accomplished they will then start subliminally combining more definitions of words spelled differently, and soon we'll live in a gr(a/e)y hazy world with a foggy essence that will make us feel iffy all the time.

i got gas



on my way to work i noticed that the arco had 87 gas for 1.97/gallon. WOWIEE under 2.00/gallon for gas, would i ever see it again? i wasn't sure... till today!



now as a mechanical engineering student, i took two thermodynamics classes in college, and i learned about the (R + M)/2 equation (R stands for Research Octane Number , and M stands for Motor Octane Number) that determines the octane of gasoline (it's on the yellow sticker that says (87,89, or 91) the octane rating on the pump at your local gas station.

my professor (Dr. Samuelson) was the guy who they asked to come up with the equation. (yea he came up with that easy equation) but how you get R and M is the hard part i swear!!! ok ok not impressive. regardless, i've concluded that gasoline octane rating does not affect my car, only my pocket. and i've concluded that it's approx $172.00 more a year to run premium 91 gas. that's based on the assumption that there's a $0.16 difference between 87 and 91 and that i get an avg of 23 mpg. (btw i'm going to get gas today at lunchtime)



according to handymanUSA there is no difference between the two grades of gas for a normal car. i've read tons of posts on different msg boards as well, but those are contradicting, the problem is that nobody references anything when posting to those sites. i can't believe what some people say on msg boards simply because their computer name is 97mustangman. this person could be a 16 year old girl who plays with barbies, or a seasoned car mechanic. who knows?



what i do know is what's going on here. and i'm breaking it down easy style:



-the history of octane rating goes back to AKI (Anti Knock Index). what the heck does Knock mean? it's when fuel explodes instead of burns and ends up pushing the pistons (the parts that move in the engine) in the wrong direction, and that's bad for your engine. so the AKI is the number used to find out how much resistance that specific gas has to knocking.



-octane is what governs the burning of fuel, more octane, slower burn. most people think more octane means it burns hotter. that's wrong.



-slower burning fuel prevents "engine knock" which sounds like something is knocking inside your engine and wants to come out.



-most cars will not have engine knock with 87 octane gas, and if they do... a tune up will most probably fix it. (this doesn't apply to old cars, 25years or so old)



-high performance cars have a higher compression (turbos, superchargers, or just high performance naturally aspirated engines aka non-turbo)



-the reason it costs more is because it has to go thru more refining than 87 to get the octane in the gas, more work = more cost.



-it's not better for the environment to use 91.



-your car won't know a diff if you change 91 to 87 and back again, you're not locked in if you only put 91 in and then suddenly change to 87.



-lastly, there are tolerances on octanes. Hypothetical example: that means 87 is really 87 +/- 3 so it could be 90 or could be 84, meaning that 87 or 91 could be the same thing depending on the batch you get!



quick questions (FAQ): so then, why does my lexus/mercedes say use premium unleaded fuel only? AAAAnd My daddy says I'll get better gas mileage with premium gas, is he wrong?



your car says premium fuel only and coincidentally gasoline companies put their most expencive stuff as "premium". isn't 87 premium? when crude oil is processed it comes out to about 70. then they process it more to get it up to about 90. after that they add stuff to it to make it higher than that. (some fuel is rated well over 100)



better mileage and better for your car seems to be the grey area. one site said approx 3% more power is attained with high octane gas, other sites say that no gas mileage is gained with higher octane. one site said that you'll get MORE gas mileage with 87 cause it burns faster and hotter. (heat equals energy) so that means more gas mileage as long as your car doesn't knock. carbon build up with 87 or 91 was also up in the air. some sites said yes and others said no.



the variable isn't the gas. it's the engine. if you're driving a car that that is not a super machine, and isn't 25 years old, you should most likely be putting 87 octane gas. save the 170.00 a month so you can buy drinks for me or something, that will get you further than higher octane gas.



p.s. i've read and looked and tried to find info about turbocharged cars, with no luck. if anyone has a credible source of information confirming the benefits of 91 gas and turbocharged engines, please feel free to let me know! please.

what jon said



my friend jon blogged about how he grew up in an asian american household (though he generalized and said most "ethnic" households are similar), and how tough it was to get some affection from his parents, and now he feels that may be the reason that he isn't giving his friends/loved ones affection that they deserve.



i used to think similarly to this way, untill one random time i jokingly said some kind words expressing how much i appreciated and liked them and saw how she lit up when i said these words.



sometimes people need to hear things that are implied. the reaction i got from saying a few nice words was facinating. the old mentality of "if i spend time with you, call you, email you, etc... that means you're worth my time, and i like you" is easy. and it'd work better if the world was only males. but hearing someone say something nice about you is very moving. especially if it's a close friend.



i grew up in the opposite of jon's world. my mom and dad always did and do says they love me. i get hugs and more hugs when i go home to see them. my family is full of affection and jon's is opposite.



this conflicts when i befrend someone like jon. who's path do we take? mine? his? a mix?



i have a friend who once told me that she never says "i love you" to anyone even her parents. i told her "i've been friends with her for years, and that i love you". her face was shocked for a few mins after i said these super powerful words so nonchalantly. but i did, i do! i love my friends and family, and i tell them. you have to, if everything was just implied then why talk? the phrase actions speak louder than words implies that words aren't loud, well they are. actions are just a little bit louder.



that same friend now will text message me or email and leave a "love, ____" at the end. because it's better to say it too much than not enough. i respect jon's way of showing affection, or lack thereof, but it's not the way i do things.

momma always said "you never stop learning"



i graduated from college. from the great institution of UCIrvine. (our mascott is the anteater, and i'm reminded of this daily by my USC and UCLA alumni co-workers. what does this mean? well, 5 years and lots of debt...

yes, but there's more. one can't just show up to good ol' UCI and start their academic studying. 4 years of high school, 3 years of junior high, 5 years of grade school, a year of kindergarden, and some pre-school... pre-school!! i went to a school in order to learn how to go to school!!!!

this totals up 19 years of taking classes. I'm only 25 years old, and as an infant I don't see myself being coherent enough to learn much more than how to cry, relieve myself, and sleep. (really miss that sleeping thing, i practiced that a lot)

so i've been learning a lot. learing, taking classes, honing my skills so that i'll be a benefit to society. thing is, i feel that the stuff i've learned shouldn't have required 19 years. but that's not the real point here....

i've taken a lot of classes, had a lot of teachers, sat/slept through lots of lectures. i've colored the pictures in the lines and memorized my spelling words for the weekly wednesday spell testing (i did horribly of course) .

so recently i found myself with a list of classes i wanted to take: cullinary, welding, adobe photoshop/illustrator, macromedia flash & dreamweaver, bartending, real estate, scuba diving, autocross or a performance driving class, and of course i'd like to get my MBA...

these are things i really want to learn. now come to think of it, if i were to go full time as a student, i could knock these courses out in 1 year(not including the MBA). i've worked 19 years in schools and classes interpreting books and simplifying equations... but that doesn't pay bills, or impress chicks. the two highest prioritys on my list.

maybe i feel cheated a bit that i am now paying hundreds of dollars a month in order to knock out a debt of thousands of dollars and i still don't know the stuff that i would like to know from going to school. if i want some more skills (the ones that i am impressed with) i'm going to have to take some more classes.

when mom said you never stop learning, i thought that there were life lessons i'd encounter and there were people and situations that i was to learn from. i think i misunderstood her... "you never stop going to school" is most likely what she said. i never trust my memory.

straight edge is scary edge for me



everyone has stress. everyone has issues of heartache and some sort of problem that they would like to get off their back. in compensation for these stresses and probmlems as living animals that we refer to as human beings, we need a way to "let it out!" and since our 40 hr a week, 50 week a year, schedule doesn't allow us to visit hawaii as often as we'd like to, this is the reason we have the weekends.



some need to release more than others. some release by different means than others. personally i drink. i love it. it's great. my mon-thurs is spent daydreaming about where and what i'm going to drink that weekend. and if i'm not drinking, then i'm either sick as heck or dead. the latter hasn't happened yet but it's getting closer to becoming true. there's those who don't drink. and i respect their wishes, it's not for everyone. but it makes me wonder what is their release? how do they "let it out"



thru my years of educational teen movies/sitcoms/cartoons and of course the many wonderfully pointless hours of mtv trash has molded my ideas such as thus: substance release vs the sexual release.



the scene is set with the "main guy", he's trying to get the girl (perfect setup for a teen movie.) he's always gotta be the main guy cause girls are harder to get than drugs/alcohaul. then there's the sidekick. the one who needs no girl for his release, he's happy getting intoxicated. so the intresting story is the sober dude's escapades in attaining this perfect figure, not the sidekick's tribulations to finding a liquor store. all the while the "main guy's" sidekick is intoxicated and completely happy with life. he sees things completely simple and when he tells the "main guy" what he thinks the "main guy" has an epiphany. the only thing not set in our sidekick's world is that his homefry doesn't have the chick he so desires and can't stop thinking about her.



and that's it.



so who are you? i'm the sidekick... i'm content with myself catching a nice buzz and enjoying a simple release of the day's stresses and deadlines. i fear the people that will never take the role of the sidekick. they're going to spontaneously combust someday due to lack of release. and that's a bad thing for the sidekick, especially if he's wearing one of those new white shirts mom bought him. so for sidekicks sake, become a sidekick once in a while... hey it happens... movie reference: beginning of half baked (before dave chapelle became the "main guy" and quit the substance release and started the sexual release)

"the ones who entertain themselves are the ones we think are crazy, but they're the only ones that will always keep their sanity"



it's so common that if you're not doing something that takes up 100% of your concentration and someone asks what it is you're up to, you simply say nothing. but it's never nothing.



i feel that i can hold my own better than most, by entertaining myself with daydreams, flashbacks, and games. things i do readily while driving or sitting in traffic school... you know, when i'm "doing nothing"



for example i just walked for an hr to the stater brothers down the street. 30 mins each way. to buy stamps. and all the while i just looked around and kept myself entertained. i did have a phone call, but for the majority of the trip i was alone. and it's ok. being alone is not so bad, and being alone is for people who can entertain themselves.



i've seen countless people eating alone while talking on the phone. it's sickening. put down your phone, enjoy the view of whatever you got, enjoy the absence of conversation and company. we're so dependant on attention it's sick.

just the right time



driving in the car, you pick up your friend, and tell them "hey you gotta hear this song!" so you pop it in and pretty soon you're talking to your friend or someone calls or something happens where the focus of you two just isn't on the song. it's on something else. maybe you haven't hung out and need to catch up.



on the converse there's that perfect time. a song comes on the radio, after a while of driving, or after a night of partying, or just in the most unpredictable time... and what happens? you both feel the song. it's majic! driving down the street, not talking, just both bobbing your heads to the perfect song for the perfect moment. and thing is, these songs can't be predetermined. they have to be randomly selected, as in, running the random function on your ipod, and BAM it hits you with a song. the song makes your -tired and i wanna get up and stretch- body start dancing in it's uncomfy seat!



i've had tons of these moments, they're what make weekends great. but never thought to document one.



keep a look out for them, i hear they can show at anytime.