party



had a party last night, i like partys. especially ones that i get to go to. since i threw this one, well helped throw it, i got to go. $79.72 got me 15 ice cold gallons of budlight, which i shared with anyone who came.



that list included 2 kids from san diego: hong and gene. gotta love those two.







there's this weird thing that happens at partys. everyone from all aspects of your life are represented. co-workers, highschool friends, college people, random aquaintences, and the people you see everytime you decide you want to have a good fun night. it's normal to see each person in different places, times, and situations. when they are all together... mingling among eachother, it's a weird place to be. but it's a nice place to be. i think i'll revisit it again. having partys is hard work, and clean up is a bitch, so is prep. is it all worth it in the end? i think so.











(insert transition here) the world (my world) did as it does everyday, it changed. this time, the change is permanent. will never be the same. i will never be the same. he had without a doubt in my mind, the purest, biggest, most naive, forgiving, childlike, heart. i don't think he spend a combined minute of his life upset, angry, or mad at anybody or thing. there's nothing i could have done to lose his trust, and it's a fact that he'd take a bullet, or one hundred bullets if that was the case for me. i'm really going to miss him. but 13 years ago, i didn't know that one being could be so genuine and unselfish (except when it came to food, he could eat like a horse, or a horse, whatevers bigger) but that only added to the personality. he loved me, i loved him.

ramble ramble



gonna ramble here:



so excited about getting a carbon fiber hood for my prelude, and one piece headlights. i apreciate that dorkyness stuff.. sure the car won't get better gas mileage, be faster, be more comfortable, sound better, or increase value. but it will make it just a smidge more fun to drive, and that's all i desire.



as far as work goes, i had a small part in a pretty big important presentation and well it went better than expected. as a result my boss came in and dropped 3 ben franklins on my desk for a job well done. i feel like i may have contributed 10% or less to the whole thing, but i was rewarded just as well as the guys who broke their backs getting this done. someday i'm sure i'll be training the new guy and do the 50% of the presentation while he coasts thru, but that's way down the line.



mom's coming to see my house saturday. i'm pretty ashamed of it, it's really...well batchelor pad-like. my room isn't so bad but i don't think she'll take so well to the huge stack of playboy magazines in the bathroom, or the mound of cigarette butts in the front planter, she may be appauled by the sticky spots on the tile floor, or the ashes covering the coffee table due to hookah coals. but we're going to make my room look nice! wait for pics =)



i've noticed green is my color. not to wear necessarily, but to have. i got a green room, green car, green thumb (i wish), soon i'll have a green bed, with green curtians and green hamper to match my green trashcan. gonna get a green clock and paint my stool green. daves loves green too. but i don't do the weed thing, i'm not a fan of the sticky green which one would think initiated my lust towards the combination of yellow and blue?



i'm trying to grow a little "soul patch" i'll update my webcam pic (and archives) soon enough, since i'm so lazy and well moving has caused me to not be on the internet so much as i'm on the freeway (15min commute has been replaced by 50-70min commute)



oh, and i bought 16candles yesterday! anthony michael hall is my hero in that flick... he deems himself "king of the dipshits" in the flick. then later tells the most desired senior in highschool (while he's a freshman) how to get chicks, and makes a breakfast martini for the both of them. i think in my former life i was that cool, cause now i'm so not king of the dipshits, more like normal dipshit.

budget



i'm not talking rent-a-car. i'm talking budgeting my own personal cash flow. the ins and outs of dollar signs to my own personal washington mutual free checking bank accnt.



i just spent $37.00 on cell phone accessories (i broke the antenna off my case, so i needed a new one) but then decided a red holster for $.01 (5.95 shipping) and a $3.99 ( 5.99 shipping!!) hands free kit thingy. pretty horrible how things add up. i mean 37 dollars is actually quite a bit of money and i just pissed it away on stupid cell phone stuff... not to mention i bought another case, broke the lcd trying to replace it (cost me $80.00 for an LCD and $40.00 to put the case on) man how much am i spending on this contraption that virtually nobody uses to contact me?? over $150.00!! and for what? a


red case and the thing is about this red case....




it's busted... how lame is that....



so i'm wondering how do i make all this money yet have none to buy cool junk. well there it is ladies and gentlemen, there's my cool stuff. i kno i'm lame i'm an idiot you got me i'm hongshin. (he used to say that in H.S. alllll the time)



but yea. as of today, stupid purchases will either be taken account for, or will be thought through a bit more so that i either have money or know what stupid places mine ended up at. i guess that's all i can say i learned about this today.



btw, big fiesta at mi casa on the 20th, come by, ask for directs. it'll be fun. maybe a girl or two will even show up?! who knows!

comments are back!!!

contemplation



i'm sitting in contemplation... do i go for a jog, or do i sit here and play with my computer? i did install a KVM on my two comptuers it's pretty cool... the vid takes a bit to download.. just be patient, it's so worth it, in a nerdy way.



birthdays are fun, gene had tons of fun during adam's birthday. as you can see



adam got his voice back, and is sure using it here.



i love going to san diego. it's so nice to go to and feel as though i too don't have a job and don't worry about things, and just hang out and have fun.



back to the jogging thing... i clocked out on the way to work that it's 0.7 miles to the end of the street that we live on. so there and back is 1.4 miles. that's almost a mile and a half!!! what a good start to my "great body goal" (i plan on being a ruff and tuff buff guy end of the year. or so) so jogging will rid me of my fatty belly and love handles (whom nobody really loves)



that's it, i'm going to do it! i'm off to jog! PEACE OUT LATES!!!

change of lifestyle



last week i had nobody to come home to. now i have 3 roomates, a garage and a backyard. and above all my room is painted green. i've gotten motivation now, i'm back on my computer doing things that are productive instead of things that are destructive.

speaking of destructive, my car.... deborah... she got in an accident.

she needs some work. some TLC. but i figure that she'll come back with a vengance!



as will i, once i get drapes in my room =)

energy



why is it that sleep sneaks up on us in the most worstest times. say in class. man i've dozed off in my share of classes. just sit there, no talking. put your pen down for a sec, rub your eyes. and soon it's sideways head, tounge out, snoring, drooling, and EVERYONE watching. so what, that's not so bad, besides some humiliation. now if the teacher sees you that's another story.

Now. at work it's totally different. man, i fight at work my hardest, to stay up and awake and alert and not look like i'm tired as heck. BUT today i fail. as i write this i'm taking the longest blinks one can possibly take before he just has closed eyes. stretching helps, rubbing my eyes makes me wanna just pass out. i'd pay, i'd so pay to just get to my house right now and in my bed within the next 2 minutes. focusing on the screen is becoming more and more difficult. it's cold in here, that's kinda keeping me up, but MAN i can't stay awake. and i have been in this phase more than one time before... i am so familiar with where i am yet how do i cope with it?



who the hell knows. but there is one thing i do know. at 4:30 when i leavee.... i'll have SO much energy to go here and there and do this and that. instead of going home and doing that which i'd love to do more than anythingg else: sleep.



so am i really sleepy at work, or am i just bored out of my mind. could be both.

my new room

52 card pickup



ever play that game as a kid, 52 card pickup? where you ask someone if they wanna play, and they dunno what it is, and then you throw all the cards in the air, and say "pick them up!"



that's how life feels today.





yea, my cards are all over the floor and i'm picking them up. some people pick the cards up really fast. some people will be discusted and just walk away. others, like me... we'll sit there, asses the situation. wonder why the heck we didn't see that a game called 52 card pickup would be just that. picking up 52 cards, and how that could have been avoided.



am i talking about one thing in general? nope. tons of stuff. everything. i got a ticket yesterday for doing an illegal u turn, then got a parking ticket in the spot i u turned into 3 hrs later. my psudo love life, which hasn't really existed for the past few months is slowly disintegrating without any means for me to hold it together. i'm moving yet again, and have no motivation/desire to pack up this shit i just unpacked in this craphole appt i've rented out for almost my whole paycheck the last three months. what really gets me, and the reason that i feel defeated right now, it's saturday. i look forward to saturdays like a child looks forward to dessert, and i have NO plans. tonight could end up right here, on my computer. in my app. in norwalk. in my sulking, self pity-ing, depressed mood.



now i find that most of the time when i have an issue, i write it down. to someone who cares mostly. this way i see and think about expressing how i feel and what really has got me down. that way i find a counter to my sadness. and i am able to get myslef somewhat of a remedy to the situation. working towards the greater good is something that i've been learning in my "leadership" meetings. and well... my greater good is me being content with me. maybe that will happen someday, i just gotta shake off these games of 52 card pickup.











so i just smoke a cig, and get off my ass. cause what else is there really to do? right?

what people say



at my work, we have these meetings. every tuesday. they call them "leadership meetings". everyone's invited. the president of the company usually attends and conducts them. they teach sayings. the company is run on sayings. instead of laying cut and dry rules, we have sayings. most of the sayings are based on common sense. they teach these sayings, and thus teach the way of the company.

the company is run on sayings.



some say that they sayings apply to everyday life. some say the sayings apply to work only. some think it's crap. some live off the stuff.



me, where am i on the situation? can't answer that, since i've only attended 2 meetings.



but what do i think about running a company on philosophical ideas? who knows... people totally live they're own lives by these values... so it could happen.



so i started to think of what sayings that i like to say. i always bust them on people, and then here i am i forgot what it is i say! so then today i decided to write them down. i'm gonna keep a book or something or document them...



you can't catch a fish, if you're hook's not in the water



that's a favorite of mine. dunno why... dad said it. someone else may have also.



it's night time, bed time.