sittin



i've always wanted to be that cool old guy. i think everyone wants to be, well every man does. that guy who can drink scotch like water, smoke cigars like nothing, and most importantly, never seem to be surprised at anything that anyone says because you've heard it all and have input on it as well.



so i'm working on that right now, watching the lord of the rings on bootlegged vcd, while sipping some johnny walker blacklabel on the rocks with a bit of water in it. i never thought that one could put so much time into a resume and coverletter, but then it's like everything these days. anything that is worth spending time on, someone out there is spending more time on it than you are. so perfection is the only aceptable condition. so there's to be nothing left unlooked.



sometimes you need to sit at home, on a saturday night, or a friday night, or even a wednesday night that feels like a friday since your friends are at the club and you are at home with nothing to do. it let's you reflect, and it lets you get to know yourself.



i guess if i want to be a wise old man i'll have to do that once in a while. let's say tonight. yes tonight. there's no time like the present to do what you'd like to do. or what you need to do for that matter.

when the days blend into eachother as they have for me, there's one thing to do and that's to take a hold of the time you have and do what you need to do.

money



with no job... one thing i've realized is money

i've worked since i was 16 up till now. and man, i'm 23! having no job for about a month has been really difficult i've found. and money.. that's something that i have been thinking about



there's two different entities to money. the first entity of money is "money you need", the second is "money that you want".



need vs. want

cavemen dealt with this issue, and it's plagued the earth and universe ever since then and will continue to do so like how hair and nails on a dead carcas presist to grow dispite the conditions...



so how to deal with the issue at hand?

i dunno, i'm starting to need the "money that you need" now instead of the money that you want. that sucks!

although we all fantasize about the "money that you want" instead. that's the money that buys nice clothes, expencive dinners, nice cars, big TVs, presents, and treats for everyone. the "money that you need" pays creditcard bills, student loans, car payments, and insurance. it's scary when you're saving up for that instead of saving up for a new _____ that you don't need or already own one of.

it's sad... the no job thing is hitting and that means less play and more work for jack, which makes him a dull boy but he's a dull boy who can pay bills and that's what counts now doesn't it?



the root of all evil, money... need vs. want...

what happened to rants and raves about girls and their charmy charachteristics? is this the real world? i'm not sure i know what i've gotten myself into!



so i've been djing a bit.. not like i'm good, but i sure am photogenic! check:

what to do?



i honestly don't know what to do so i'm going to make a few breakfast burritos for my friends who slept over today.



but there's something that intresting. i'm not sure how to put it. but when a friend has something on their face, and you tell them that they've got something on their face, it embarasses both you and them. why would you be embarassed to tell your friend that they've got something on their face? they're your friend!

because you're afraid that they'll get embarassed around you and then feel uncomfortable around you all the time. so what do you do? you instead just make them feel good about themselves. you make them happy cause when your friends are happy you are happy.



but when they realize that they've got something on their face, and you didn't tell them... even though it was there all along and you saw it and they didn't, they'll resent you. there's not a valid excuse to say to a friend who has looked like a moron when all the while all you had to do was say something about it.



someone told me that if you don't say anything then you're just a play friend. and you don't really care you just like to play. but if you do say something then you're a real friend. and real friends are important.



sometimes it's more than just something on their face.

designation



so jowilla got back from spain late dec, and last night was the first time we were able to go out to an old familiar house club... boardners off cherokee, close to hollywood blvd. pretty good times...

got in there at 12, so 2 hrs to drink and then abide by california's worst law ever (no booze after 2am)



so we all get their world famous strongest long island ice teas this side of the mississippi...

everyone finished with their drink, and we all decided it's time for another! but one of the four of us have to drive. so who shall it be?

jowilla had just one long island and it was rather blatant that she had slurred her words and slowly fell off the vinyl ottoman she was sitting on while insisting that she'd be ok to drive, that it'd be either me or luis that'd be driving... so we paper-rock-scissors'd two of three and course i'm the idiot who ended up being DD.



so what? i had my $9 long island and i'm having fun... right up to the part where i follow everyone to the bar and gaze at the ice cold colored drinks prepared and passed around the group... but to no surprise (more of an extremely vivid realization) i had nothing to do with that. i was totally left out. and it's then that the night took a turn.



now i don't need alcohaul to have fun, i've had fun sober on millions of occasions. BUT i've never really had fun being the ONLY sober person among a group of drunk friends, while they're off doing idiotic things whether it be to talk to every sleazy guy in their path especially the ones who are so desprate to get their ding-a-ling touched by a member of the woman race that they practially write the words (will do anything for sex) on their forehead, or just stumble into random walls, buildings, strangers, etc.



thing is, they're having fun. and i'm not... i'd be having a better time if they were also not having fun and we'd be doing that misery loves company thing. OR if we were all drunk and just acting afool together that'd satisfy me too.



either way, it wasn't that way. and i was the driver.



to wrap up the night, things got better due to some good ass potatoes, and a tasty spinach, mushroom, and ham omlete accompanied by a chrome "house music" tamborine from paris.



"Tap along toyour favorite Tempo with this addition to the house music range"

"It's been a long night, the atmosphere's chilled, everybody's lounging, dozing, drifting... when studdenly all ear's prick up to the sound of a familiar melody... it's that favorite track, that one last tune and before you know it... the house music's pumping, the house is thumping and everybody's jamming with house music!"



-house music tamborine box.

girl's boyfriends



what is it with girls and the guys they date?

i mean i've been friends with some really cool ass chicks, and i'd figure that i'm cool, they're cool (the girl), yet again, i go in and meet their boyfriend, whom they talk about to me (all the time) and make to appear the guy to be a pretty cool person. and then we get a chance to hang out, and holy moly, NERD CITY! the guy is a drag. sure he may be good in bed, or very attentive to her needs, or just a funny guy (in her eyes) but then it's torture to hang out with that fool... he's a social degenerate. how does everyone see this and everyone dislike his presence except for this girl who you think is cool as heck?



is it cause she's actually not that cool and I'M the one who sees her different than anyone else?

is it cause i'm the social degenerate?

or is it because the girl sees the guy in a different light than everyone else?



it all boils down to who sees who in what light.

which gives me the option to see everyone in my own damn light because that's the light that counts, which makes me realize that cool ass chicks DO have dorky ass boyfriends!!!

thinking



i've gotta say, usually things that i think about are pretty non-life changing... they're more along the lines of conversation topics or something that i just don't understand, or even something that people overlook when i believe they shouldn't.



i've lost it. my brain is constantly thinking of what's ahead, and how will i pay for these stubborn bills that keep increasing. where i'll be in a month, or who i'll be with. i know that i've got my computers, my friends for now, but lord knows that they're more likely to turn on me than the snotiest of snotty spoiled highschool mentality driven women.



i admit, having a planned out future is really a boring way of life, but no visibility is also not the way i'm ready to live.



i guess not having something definite in my life is a real different way of thinking.. and even though with my efforts things will change it's difficult to transition. i have people here to help me do so but it takes some time. graduating from school and getting a job are two different animals. i've tamed one, and now it's on to the other...

new year



the new year provides time for everyone to take a break from work and the crazyness that life demands... well everyone except cab drivers, and card dealers, front desk attendants, bar tenders, waiters, the artist formerly known as prince impersonaters, and many other different random jobs that define the city that never sleeps, unsleeping.

going to vegas made me feel for these fellas and ladies. it's new year's eve and they're taking my order, it's the first of the year and they're dealing me a losing hand. it's 4:30 am on the first of january where most people in the country are sleeping due to massive partying and excessive fun and they're bringing me my 3 egg spanish omlete.



regardless i had a good time. hope everyone i know did. i started this year off with the reinstatement that jack daniels is the devil. sometimes that's a good thing.



so i've been thinking of my new year's resolutions, and i'm sure i've got some... but i'm not going to rush into this just yet.

it's eating time and i'm not about to be late.