vacation



it's rather funny how much we need a vacation from vacation. couldn't wait to get back from vacation today. but what do i come back to? chores, bills, frustration, and a mess.



"but i'll be fine tonight,

my good friends are here, with me..."

-taken from: "one eye'd wonder"



there are things that i love, and put so much time and effort and don't forget money into. but the satisfaction i get out of them is so minimal. the frustration i get is so massive, and my end result is virtually nothing. so why do i do what it is that i do?

i don't know, i guess i'll just always be a computer nerd!

one of those



stole this quiz from june found her site randomly while surfing blogger.com's newest updated blogs... my new pastime.



RANDOM STUFF

[ x ] Spell your first name backwards - reema idivan

[ x ] Are you a lesbian - yes. but i'm in the closet

[ x ] Where do you live - in a 1 story 4 bedroom house in pleasant Rancho Bernardo

[ x ] 4 words that sum you up - idiot, one-track, misfit, sudo





DESCRIBE YOUR

[ x ] Wallet - brown leather pullout section of a wallet, very thin, oh and empty

[ x ] Hairbrush - don't own one

[ x ] Toothbrush - hangs from the bathroom mirror on a blue plastic teddy bear that i got in japan at the 100yen store

[ x ] Jewelry worn daily - silver thumb ring, one stud in each tragus, watch-sieko

[ x ] Pillow cover - flowers, blue spop present, more flowers, and flowers

[ x ] Blanket - two are flowers (one looks like the webers bread bag), and one red and black one.

[ x ] Coffee cup - NASA - stole it from work

[ x ] Sunglasses - orange and blue aviator style glasses with black wireframes - also got in japan's 100yen store

[ x ] Underwear - gap boxers - red with dalmations on it

[ x ] Shoes - adidas superstars - all brown

[ x ] Handbag - sorry i don't go there...

[ x ] Favorite top - t-shirt - preferrably from ebay

[ x ] Cologne/Perfume - carne asada

[ x ] CD in stereo right now - san fransisco session vol 2

[ x ] Tattoos - if i ever found a good enough design/work/symbol

[ x ] Piercings - tragus - both (it's that nub right before your ear hole)

[ x ] What you are wearing now - dickies, grey socks, black plastic jacket from wal mart and a grey t-shirt with a blue truck on it... oh and gap boxers

[ x ] Hair - puff

[ x ] Makeup - not these days







WHO or WHAT

[ x ] In my mouth -sesame seeds with dry salmon - hong's mom gave them to me... it's a taiwanese thing i'm guessing... gives pretty bad breath

[ x ] In my head - it's 2am, is it too late to go to the garage and install my new car stereo speakers? tomorrow i will actually upgrade my mother board!!

[ x ] Wishing - currently, for a cigarette and a stiff drink along with someone to share both with.... long term a job in LA and an appt with my best bud jo

[ x ] After this - that stiff drink

[ x ] Talking to - good ol blogger.com

[ x ] Eating - i finished the sesame/salmon things by now

[ x ] Fetishes - sharp teeth and good handwriting

[ x ] If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason - could i trade serious injury to two people for this instead of death on one person?

[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now - that girl from starbucks.. she was cute!

[ x ] Is next to you - a closet, whch by the way has a bottle of jagermeister, stoli- vanilla, parrot bay, jonny walker, triple sec, and an empty bottle of crown

[ x ] Some of your favorite movies - kids, wedding singer, friday,

[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month - many computer upgrades, vegas for newyears (flying in), and NOT taking anymore classes, i've got a degree whoopie!

[ x ] The last thing you ate - salmon sesame things, damn i'm getting reemed for eating those aren't i?

[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of - my comptuer crashing. being coverd in ants, having a threesome and being able to not get it up.

[ x ] Do you like candles - yes, got one right now... warms my room up! =)

[ x ] Do you like hot wax - eerrr for what?

[ x ] Do you like incense - not that much but i like inces! (inside joke)

[ x ] Do you like the taste of blood - my blood? rare steak? or that korean shit that's all boiled and in that soup... all are ok by me

[ x ] Do you believe in love - yes

[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates - yea, but not to be confused with a lover. sometimes they're not the same

[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight - with things, people, maybe.... maybe

[ x ] Do you believe in Heaven - not really... not the christian heaven if that's your game.

[ x ] Do you believe in forgiveness - almost too much

[ x ] Do you believe in God - nope

[ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die - i want to be buried in a beautiful place where my grandkids can come and chat with me when they're troubled.

[ x ] Who is your worst enemy - the achademic system, and spelling.

[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - a pet tiger. a BIG ass one... she'd be really friendly too =)

[ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up - i did 40 hrs straight on spop 3 green year.. let's see 8am on saturday, went to sleep 12am monday morning

[ x ] Ever been to Belgium - this is random but i'd like to go there and drink beer, word on the street is that theirs is top dog.

[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks - sure, but can you eat with one chopstick, ah ha!

[ x ] What's your favorite coin - 10 franks coin, it's gold and silver and neato!

[ x ] What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to - SF, LA, NY, TOKYO, paris

[ x ] What are some of your favorite pig out foods - persian food, japanese food, italian food, korean food (gene's mom's food), hong's mom's food, cheese straight up.

[ x ] What's something that you wish people would understand - physics, just basic mechanics... THAT'S ALL I ASK!!!

[ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better - writing/reading/analyzing

[ x ] Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time - capt. jo

[ x ] What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow - put that new MB in my computer, and get things running!

in search



i haven't told anyone, yet i've had the idea in my head for a little bit. but i'm looking for someone. not a certian person, although there are charachteristics which i desire in this person. male or female i have no preference...



what do i want to do with this person? i want to start another blog!



yups, high-entropy will remain the same, it's not going anywhere...

but i need another blogger. but i want one to share, update it daily or every two days or so....yet i need someone else in order to do so. someone who likes to argue a bit, someone who has opinions and thinks about things in their idle time instead of just being another one of those human veggies that take up space and say/do everything that they're told...



so anyhow. if anyone wants to share a blog you know how to find me....

saving



the indians lived peacefully. they didn't understand the concept of ownership.

the europeans lived forcefully. they didn't understand the concept of sharing.



the indians didn't take what they didn't need. if they were hungry, they'd take some food. until they were full. and then stop taking it. it'd be there when they were hungry again.... they lived on the principal that if you don't need it right now then don't take it. and if you do need it right now then take it.



the europeans belived in saving. if you don't have enough money to buy something, save your money until you do. if you are hungry, and there's more food on the table than you need. take some for later, cause you'll get hungry later, and who knows where the food would be when that happens.



now then... applying these ideas to my life. i see that there are certain experiences which i want to experience before i die. but for some reason now isn't the time to do so. and i feel that i'm "saving" them untill i have that opportunity. "i've always dreamed of _____ " i find myself saying, and then saying "but i can't now, cause i have to do _______ instead" but no. i don't have to do ________ instead. i don't HAVE to do anything. i do everything that i wish to do. sometimes because i'm certain that it'll benefit me in the future. actually most of the time. always focusing on the future. but the indians were more focused on the present.



the present can't be pushed aside for focusing on the future.



i've decided that if i find myself saying that i really wanted to do something, then i should find out what it will take in order for me to do it! why wait? will the times really become better to do what it is that i want? will they get worse? who knows. i guess since i live in america, i should pretend that i'm an indian, instead of a european, even though the did conquer the indans... maybe i should look into being forcefull and greedy, strictly for survival?

details



such an old and played out line: "it's the little things that count"



as i observe life, i've realize that there are no little things. little things are big things. things are things, there's no relative size comparison so if it's a thing it's a thing, there's no little no big...



how has this become such a mixup? i'm not sure, i'll take a stab at it though....



details spark trains of thought. we were talking about music, song lyrics. to be more detailed i observed that the song lyrics that jump out at you and grab your attention aren't the generic ones, the ones that are general and use words that can be found in all top 40 of the current top 40 songs (ex of these words::: tonight, your eyes, i miss you, beautiful... there's tons) my point being that these are general, they don't spark emotions because they don't remind you of the little things, or like i'm trying to say, things.



personal experience: so i'm listening to dave matthews's song trippin billies, and there's a line in the song that he says



"remembering once out on the beaches,

we wore pineapple grass bracelets"



this line which is very detailed sparks a train of thought which just allows my mind to wander, i start to think about how they're on vacation somewhere tropical, where pineapples grow, and the beaches are crystal clear, and how they ate a romantic picnic on the sands and looked into eachother's eyes with the same feeling between them. and then i start to wonder what made them decide to make pineapple grass bracelets, and how they must have really liked eachother to make these bracelets for eachother, because personally i wouldn't just make bracelets with anyone, especially out of pineapple grass. it's so detailed that it had to have happened, and you can feel the emotion.



but generic song lyrics, " i just can't wait to hold you tonight" or some jazz like that, there's no feeling in that. dave matthews also can't wait to hold his girl tonight, and he's been thinking about it all the while, running on the beach, making bracelets, during that, the emotion is conveyed but only because we use our train of thought to get there.



the train doesn't go backwards quite as easy. Since the train doesn't go back so easy, that makes for the big things to not be so big. it's a thing. a thing in our mind. i like to play with things. i think about things. cause the little things are the only things, big things are little things too.

blogger



so i've been hella pissed off at blogger.com for a while, because i post stuff and it doesn't get posted!

that's a piece.



so then i reflect back on why things aren't working and viola, there it is, a password was wrong, so i just went in and changed that password...

things work! all except the archives, i'm missing the last two months. which is sad, cause now i feel i've lost the past two months of my life!



the writing juices are back to flowing, so watch out now!

what i do



i waste lots of time on my computer. especially AIM. for example:



Corporate LUIS: like the away message?

high entropy kid: jacked it from ameer

Corporate LUIS: huh? no stpthtgt2's away message

high entropy kid: right

high entropy kid: it's ok

high entropy kid: needs work

Corporate LUIS: eh

high entropy kid: i mean you're competing with capnmike

Corporate LUIS: i don't think i could really do that, i mean how long do you think his list is?

Corporate LUIS: probably not longer than mine, but his are longer.

high entropy kid: true

high entropy kid: true

high entropy kid: he's just got that pazzaz away message going on

Corporate LUIS: yeah, i mean my away messages are really about me being away, his are about the fact that you're reading it.

high entropy kid: well when it comes to away messages, it's a difficult art to master



deep meaningful chats,

i also spend my time wasting in front of kazaa which is also the devil.

i really should be writing poetry, stories, and song lyrics...

i actually did a bit of this for the first time, makes me wonder why i haven't started, so that i'd be so much better now.

being productive is a problem for all mankind, i can't expect to fix it in a night! so i mine as well start with having better away messages....

at least it'll produce conversation?

lawn chairs in the garage

i had airport duty really late one night.  lo and behold the flight was delayed, 3 hrs.  so i decided to go to denny's and finish the song that me and a friend had written.  we came up with the main line "lawn chairs in the garage" a few weeks prior.  here's the original.

i also felt that i needed to write a note to self:

soda



got some time on your hands? check this